


The Letter

by WhiteravenGreywolf



Series: Everyone Needs a Clarissa [1]
Category: Lovecraft Country (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1990s, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Banter, Chance Meetings, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Reunions, Idiots in Love, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28403304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteravenGreywolf/pseuds/WhiteravenGreywolf
Summary: Christina moves to Chicago to search for her mother, whom she'd believed dead for twenty years. However, she's barely arrived in her new home that she's already received a letter. The letter isn't for her, but for the previous occupant of the house. It's from a woman named Ruby, and she says she's pregnant.
Relationships: Ruby Baptiste/Christina Braithwhite
Series: Everyone Needs a Clarissa [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104548
Comments: 212
Kudos: 224





	1. A Door Opens

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm back! And it's a multi-chapter story that isn't 8 chapters long, how surprising!  
> This is my second story based on a French song I used to listen to as a kid, however, this one is more loosely based on the song "La Lettre". It's set in 1994, a time when I imagined people still sent each other letters instead of emails. I don't know, I wasn't born yet.  
> Anyway, as usual, I'll be posting a new chapter every day. Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy this brand new story!

It all started with a letter, Christina would tell her. The moving crew was still bringing her living room out of the truck when she opened her mailbox. It was a warm late October day, considering the Chicago weather. Although she hadn't put her name on the mailbox yet, she went to check in case any ads and fliers had been slipped in. However, when she opened the box, there was only one letter, seating neatly at the bottom of the mailbox. Christina pulled it out and inspected it.

  
The letter had gone through the proper channels if the stamp was anything to go by. Apparently, the letter had been waiting there for almost a month. And it wasn't even for her. The address was correct, but the house on Hyde Park no longer belonged to one William Davenport, who had moved with his wife and children to who knew where some month and a half ago. Christina had bought it just two weeks ago.

  
As she walked back inside, dodging big sweaty men in jumpsuits carrying boxes and armchairs and chunks of furniture up the driveway, she flipped the letter over. There was a return address, fortunately. To Ruby Baptiste, though Christina later had to check a map to know the exact location of the building. The South Side, a medium-sized apartment complex near the highway. Christina left the letter on her kitchen counter and promptly forgot about it, busy as she was ordering the moving crew around. She would return it eventually, she thought.

  
That evening, as she sat down in her partially built living room, eating pizza and channel surfing, she remembered the letter. Or rather, she spotted it again when she went to get a glass and a bottle of wine in the kitchen. She picked it up and brought it back to the living room with her. She poured herself a large glass and stared at the letter. It had been sitting in her mailbox for a month. Whoever had sent it didn't know the previous owner had moved out. She certainly hoped it wasn't too pressing. Her leg began to bounce as curiosity slowly ate away at her decency. Finally, after five long, agonizing minutes, she broke. She opened the letter.

  
There were two sheets of paper inside, folded together. The bottom one seemed to be the results of a blood test. Christina didn't remember hearing the previous owner had been a doctor. Then, she read the other piece of paper, hand-written.

_I'm pregnant and you know it's yours. I don't care if you want it or not, but you better help or I'll talk to your wife._

Well, that explained the sudden move, Christina thought. Something told her the wife already knew he was having an affair. But they moved before they could learn about the child he had fathered behind her back. Christina sighed and folded the letter back in the envelope. It certainly wasn't addressed to her, or even her concern. She discarded the letter and turned back to the TV.

  
Still, she couldn't quite get the letter out of her mind. She couldn't help but think about this young woman who was still waiting for an answer. Would she eventually come knocking on Christina's door, only for Christina to have to break the truth to her? She really didn't want to have anyone crying on her front porch. The better thing would be to return the letter the next day. But would they even let her return an open letter? She sighed. She was supposed to meet with Tic anyway, she could take a small detour to bring the letter back. Break her the news, give her back the letter, and move on with her own problems.

  
Christina sipped some wine and leaned back on her leather couch. It sounded like a good plan.

* * *

Atticus was waiting for her at his uncle's traveling agency in the early afternoon, so Christina drove to the return address first. Her silver car looked out of place on the parking lot in front of the building. It was an older, but well-kept building where plants and cloths hung in equal numbers on the small balconies. She found the front door of the building open. There was a big stack of mailboxes against the wall. For a moment, Christina thought about just slipping the letter in and leaving, however, she knew the other woman needed to know the truth.

  
From the mailbox, she learned Ruby Baptiste lived in apartment 6B. She took the elevator to the sixth floor, and once the heavy, groaning doors had opened, she went to knock on apartment 6B's door. Christina had the open envelope in one hand, the other in her jacket pocket. She waited. The door opened briskly, with a crick and the jiggle of keys.

  
Christina was stunned for a second. The woman on the other side was looking at her with annoyance, her dark eyes looking up and down at the blonde stranger at her door. She was tall, just three short inches smaller than Christina. Short black hair curled over her forehead. She was wearing a loose purple and blue woolen sweater and denim skirt. As she spoke, Christina's eyes accidentally fell on her plump lips.

  
"Can I help you?" she asked, part confused and part irritated.

  
"I'm looking for Ruby Baptiste?"

  
"That's me."

  
Christina showed the open letter, and Ruby seemed to recognize it instantly.

  
"I'm sorry but your guy doesn't live there anymore. He moved out about a month and a half ago."

  
Ruby took the letter, somewhat stunned at first. Then, she noticed it was open.

  
"Wait, you opened it?" she said, rage bubbling beneath her voice.

  
"I got curious," Christina replied honestly.

  
"Your mother never told you not to read other people's mails?"

  
"I suppose she left before she could," Christina replied, both hands in her jacket pockets.

  
Ruby fell silent. She was at a loss for words for a moment, but Christina was quick to fill in the silence:

  
"Do you want my money?"

  
"What?"

  
"I don't know what your ex had, but I'm probably richer than him. I can give you some money if you want to."

  
"I don't need your money. Goodbye, miss read-other-people's-mail."

  
Ruby shut the door on her. Christina shrugged and walked away. She supposed it wasn't her problem anymore.

* * *

Atticus worked for his uncle as a traveling agent. His uncle was always very proper, and he insisted his employees had to be too. So Atticus was stuck in an uncomfortable-looking suit, struggling not to take off his tie, when Christina arrived. She came knocking at the traveling agency during the early afternoon lull. In a week or two, the agency would be filled with people planning their Christmas holidays. For now, however, Atticus was in the middle of solving a Rubik's Cube when she found him.

  
"You know completing one face at a time doesn't work, right?" she said as she came to stand in front of his desk, tucked between the thick building wall and a thin cubicle wall.  
"If I learn how to fix it too quickly I'll get bored again," he replied as he completed the red side.

  
He placed the toy on his desk and stood up.

  
"Come on, let's go to the back."

  
He picked up a manila envelope from a drawer in his desk and they walked to the back room. It was more of a garage than anything, with George's car parked in a corner, and shelves filled with maps and books from the old days, when traveling across the country was hazardous for many. There was a small squared wooden table there, and Atticus sat down and took off his tie. Christina sat opposite him.

  
"What did you find?"

  
Atticus opened the envelope and pulled out its content. A few pieces of paper and certificates and a family picture. Christina had given it to her cousin as a reference. She glanced at it but didn't reach for it.

  
"So, unsurprisingly, there are no Clarissa Braithwhite in town. No Clarissa Cunningham either. I tracked down the house like you said but your father sold it a while back. It's a MacDonald's now."

  
Christina rolled her eyes. Of course, her father would sell his ex-wife's family home and have it turned into a fast-food restaurant. Because he was just this special kind of asshole. Atticus flipped through the papers until he found a cemetery map, which he unfolded on the table and flipped around to show Christina.

  
"There's a family vault, however. Right there."

  
He pointed to the little square he had circled in red.

  
"I haven't gone to, yet, but we can check it out tomorrow if you want."

  
"What for? She's not dead," Christina said hurriedly, somewhat nervously.

  
"She's not, but maybe she still brings flowers from time to time. I know you don't understand the concept but normal people care about their dead loved ones and bring them flowers."

  
Christina ignored his remark. Normal people also didn't have a bastard of a father who lied to her about her mother for twenty odd years. If he expected flowers on his grave now, he would have to get out of his vault and get them himself.

  
"And if it leads to nothing?"

  
"Then we'll turn to something else. At least we know she's in Chicago."

  
Christina pursed her lips nervously and shook her head.

  
"We know she was in Chicago in 1983. That was eleven years ago. A lot can happen in eleven years."

  
Atticus offered a sympathetic smile to his cousin.

  
"We'll find her, alright? It'll take the time that it'll take, but we'll find her."

  
Christina took a deep breath.

  
"Fine. Do you have anything else?"

  
Tic frowned.

  
"What, you wanted more? On a two weeks notice?"

  
"Fine. When do you get off? I'll buy you a drink, I suppose you deserve one."

  
Atticus chuckled.

  
"Meet me back here at six, I know a good place nearby."

  
"I have some errands to run if I don't want to eat pizza for the rest of the week. I'll meet you then."

* * *

Christina met with Tic outside of the traveling agency just a minute before six. Her cousin was once again tie-less, and she began to wonder if he kept a single tie in his desk and only put it on when the agency was open.

  
"Good to go?" he asked as she stepped out of her silver Bentley.

  
"I swear if you're dragging me to the same spot your father gets drunk at," Christina said as they began walking side by side.

  
"Haven't you heard? Pop's on the twelve-step program now."

  
"And how's that working out for him?"

  
"He's got his 60 days chip," Atticus said proudly as if it were his own accomplishment.

  
Christina said nothing. She didn't care much for Montrose but he was the only parent Tic had. You only got two of those from the get-go, and neither she nor Atticus had a good track record in keeping them alive, or so she thought.

  
Atticus led them to this small bar which smelled like fresh wood lacquer and beer. A few suits from the nearby offices were smoking outside, beer glass in hand. Atticus brushed past them. The room was already pretty filled, but he found them a high table in a corner. It might be better if they could get chairs too, but they had all been taken by a group of students huddled around two tables. Music was blasting from a nearby speaker, whatever popular song was passing on the radio at the time.

  
"So, how are you settling in?" Tic asked, leaning toward her to counter the music.

  
Christina's eyes were scanning the room, looking for a waiter.

  
"Fine. I still have a mountain of books to unpack. I would ask you for help but I know how you get, and you'd probably 'borrow' a box-full."

  
Tic shook his head.

  
"I already took all the books I wanted," he pointed out. "But I can bring pizza and beer?"

  
"Make it Chinese and whiskey and we're in talks."

  
Just then, Atticus spotted a waitress and waved to get her attention. When Christina followed his gaze, she was surprised to see Ruby, wearing a white blouse and red vest, her name on a small tag on her breast pocket. Ruby noticed Tic first and made her way to him with a polite, formal smile. Then, she noticed Christina, and she turned to her immediately:

  
"What are you doing here?" she asked.

  
"I'm having a drink with my cousin," she said, indicating to Tic with her head.

  
Ruby instantly turned to Atticus, looking at him as if Christina wasn't making sense at all.

  
"You remember I have this rich cousin five times removed? That's Christina."

  
Still, Ruby looked back at the blonde, unconvinced. She narrowed her eyes as if trying to see her soul. It made Christina shiver.

  
"What do you want?" she finally asked.

  
"Beer for the scrawny guy," Christina said, making Atticus click his tongue in annoyance. "Whiskey on the rocks for me. Please."

  
"I'll be right back," Ruby said, the usual words falling out of her lips sharply.

  
Atticus watched Ruby go with surprise. He'd never seen her act like that with new customers.

  
"Do you two know each other?" he asked, confused.

  
"Not really. It's complicated."

  
Christina doubted the other woman wanted everyone to know about her condition yet.

  
"As in..." Atticus couldn't bring himself to say it, but his tone was enough for Christina to understand.

  
"As in did I sleep with her? Not yet."

  
Atticus groaned.

  
"You're not her type, don't even try."

  
Christina smirked.

  
"I'm every girl's type. Rich and good in bed. Women are not as difficult to please as you think."

  
Ruby returned with a large glass full of beer and a smaller, squarer one. As she placed them over coasters, Atticus asked:

  
"How's Leti?"

  
"I can tell you where she is, and maybe in a month or two, I might be able to tell you how she is. She's in Cambodia. Or she was the last time she called."

  
Christina pulled a twenty bill out of her pocket and handed it to Ruby.

  
"Keep the change."

  
Ruby glared at her and walked away. Christina could tell she wanted to say something, probably that she didn't want her money, but with Tic beside her, she didn't dare, lest it raised even more suspicion. Christina took a sip of the alcohol while keeping her eyes on the other woman as she went to the cash register.

  
"She seems to hate you with a passion," Atticus noted.

  
"Hate and love are sisters, dear cousin. You just have to get a hold of the right one and never let her go."


	2. The Vault Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christina and Atticus go to the cemetery.

At precisely one in the morning, Ruby flipped the bar's light on.

  
"Alright, everyone. Closing time."

  
The room was almost empty anyway. A group of drunk students left their seats and walked out to find another spot to drink at. A few regulars stood up and said good night to Ruby with sad resolves, knowing they had to go home. And then, there was Christina. Atticus had left much earlier in the evening, but his blonde cousin had stayed in the corner, nursing the same drink for at least two hours. When Ruby called for closing time, she knocked the rest of her drink back and walked up to the counter.

  
Ruby had been left alone to clean up and close that evening. As soon as she noticed Christina leaning against the counter, she said:

  
"Can you leave, please? I'd like to close quickly and go home."

  
"I just wanted to introduce myself formally. I guess we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Christina Braithwhite."

  
"You already know who I am," Ruby replied, eyes never leaving the notebook she was filling with all the tabs, paid or otherwise.

  
"I just thought we might start over. I probably shouldn't have opened your letter."

  
Ruby finally looked up.

  
"You think?"

  
"But I didn't tell anything to Atticus."

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"I don't care whether you kept it to yourself or you told the whole neighborhood. It's not like it's going to stay a secret for very long."

  
She sighed with exasperation.

  
"Look, I'm tired and I'd like to close up and go home quickly."

  
"Do you want me to take you home?" the blonde asked instantly. "My car is parked nearby."

  
Ruby laughed at her proposal.

  
"I bet I live closer than where your car is parked. Can you just leave?"

  
Ruby stared at the blonde, wondering if she was finally going to cooperate. She had the eyes of a cat, Ruby thought, always alert, analyzing her surrounding, hiding a clever plan behind soft blue irises.

  
"Of course. I hope I'll be seeing you."

  
Christina pulled another twenty out of her pocket, placed it in the tip jar, and finally left the bar. Ruby sighed and went to lock the door before she started counting the money in the cash register. The activity was strangely mindless, and soon, Ruby's thoughts drifted to William. Despite not having seen him in two months, and not having particularly missed him, he had taken quite a bit of her headspace ever since Christina had returned the letter to her. She felt foolish for having ever fallen for his charming smile. He had been the perfect gentleman before they started seeing each other, always seating by the counter and trying anything to get her attention. She'd thought it had been somewhat cute. But of course, he had to be married. She had been proud to figure it out quickly and to tell him off, at the time at least. She supposed she hadn't figure it out quickly enough.

  
She picked up her coat from the back room and turned off all the bar's lights before closing up. Then, she walked home. She lived just down the street. The air was cold, but not crisp. Still, she tugged her head between her shoulders, regretting to have forgotten her scarf at home. The streets were empty for the most part, her path lit by old streetlights. Ruby dreamed of nothing more than to crash in bed.

  
She shut the building door behind her, then took the elevator up. She'd barely taken off her coat and locked her apartment door that the phone began to ring. She picked up and tugged the phone between her ear and shoulder as she sat down to take off her shoes. She could guess who would be calling her at such an hour.

  
"Hello?"

  
" _Ruby? I've been calling three times already_ ," Leti said on the other side.

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"Do you know what times it is here? You're lucky I was at work. I just came back."

  
" _Oh, right. Sorry. I just need a little favor..._ "

  
Ruby sighed. Here we go again, she thought.

  
" _I'm still waiting on payment for my last few pictures_ ," Leti explained. " _It should come through any day now, but I'm a bit short... I just need fifty dollars, nothing more._ "

  
So half of my tips of the night, Ruby stopped herself from saying.

  
"Didn't I give you a hundred bucks last month?"

  
" _I used most of it to get in China_ ," Leti replied as if it made sense.

  
"Wait, you're in China?"

  
" _Yeah. Vietnam's not as big as it seems. Anyway, can you please help me? I'll pay you back, I swear._ "

  
"You know you already owe me a lot of money."

  
" _And I'll pay you back everything once my book is out. With interests and all. But I really need those fifty dollars until I get my money for the pictures._ "

  
Ruby sighed again.

  
"Fine. I'll go to the bank tomorrow, see what I can do."

  
" _Thanks, sis, you're the best._ "

  
Leti hung up before Ruby could add anything. Ruby placed the phone back on its stand with a tired sigh.

  
"I know."

* * *

Christina didn't avoid cemeteries. She'd simply never been to one before because the Braithwhites had a family vault at the back of their property in Concord. Her property now, she imagined. The sky was gray, the wind picked up dead leaves and pushed them against tombstones. There were no pigeons in this part of the city, only crows.

  
Atticus was only partially awake, a paper cup of coffee in his hand. He had bought one for Christina but she hadn't drunk from it at all. Her heart was beating strongly enough already. She didn't need coffee when adrenaline had kept her awake the previous night.

  
"That way," Tic said with a yawn.

  
He finished his coffee, threw the cup in the nearest trashcan, and walked through the rows of tombs. Christina walked behind him, hands tugged in the pockets of her coat. The wind blew her scarf over her shoulder. They walked to the back of the cemetery, occupied by rows of small stone houses, ancient family vaults. Some had heavy-looking doors while others were only kept shut by metal gates. Names were engraved over the entrance, but Christina didn't bother to read them. She kept her eyes on the back of Tic's jacket.  
Her cousin stopped in front of one of the many vaults. It was impressive, Christina thought when she finally looked at it. The pillars on every corner holding up the roof were crying angels, praying for the souls within the vault. They might just be the only one, Christina thought. Over the door, the name 'Cunningham' was barely readable, as time had eroded the letters away.

  
"Stay here," she instructed her cousin before stepping inside.

  
The door was heavy but easy enough to open. Inside, she found two walls with marble tombstones, a bench in the middle, and detailed windows at the back, helping bring at least a bit of light to her ancestors. Two flower bouquets hung near two headstones to the right. Christina didn't recognize the names, but from the dates, she could gather they must have been her grandparents. To her relief, her mother wasn't among the dead. It at least lifted this weight off of her shoulders.

  
She stepped back out. Atticus was staring out into the open cemetery, trying to warm his cold hands.

  
"The bouquets look pretty new," Christina said as she stepped out. "Someone was here recently."

  
"And I think I know who we could ask," Atticus said, pointing to the man walking through the cemetery, a broom in one hand and a large trashcan on wheels dragging behind him.

  
They walked around the graves until they stood near the man, who was collecting the dead leaves stuck on the tombstones.

  
"Excuse me, sir," Atticus said as the man looked up at them.

  
"What can I help you with?" he said as he dumped crispy leaves in the trashcan.

  
"I was wondering if you knew anything about the person who brings flowers in the Cunningham vault," Christina said.

  
"What's it to you?" the man replied, brushing up more leaves.

  
"I'm looking for a woman, the woman who probably brings those flowers. Her family's looking for her."

  
Christina's voice was incredibly neutral, or so Atticus thought. As if she were simply a third-party and not the daughter of the woman in question. The cemetery worker gave Christina a look, then Atticus. Finally, he said:

  
"I've noticed her coming from time to time. Maybe once a month. I don't keep tabs on everyone who comes and goes, you know? It's a big cemetery."

  
"Do you remember the last time you saw her?" Christina said as she tried to contain the hope bubbling in her chest.

  
The man shrugged.

  
"I don't know. A few weeks ago?"

  
Christina wanted to press him for more, but Atticus put a hand on her shoulder to hold her back.

  
"Thank you, sir. You've been very helpful."

  
Christina glared at her cousin, but the cemetery worker walked away, robbing her of the chance to ask more questions.

  
"If she comes once a month, she probably lives nearby," Atticus reasoned.

  
Christina's eyes scanned the cemetery, and she noticed a bench in the middle of an alley. She walked up to it silently. Atticus followed, wondering what his cousin was up to. Finally, Christina sat down. She had a perfect view of the entrance of the vault, while also being enough out of view that she wouldn't attract attention. When Atticus saw her, he shook his head.

  
"We're not going to stake the cemetery until your mother shows up."

  
"Why not?" Christina asked as she crossed her legs and reclined on the bench. "Do you have a better idea?"

  
"Well, for one, it's creepy."

  
"They're all dead," Christina pointed out. "None of them is going to pop out of the ground suddenly just to scare you. You need to stop reading Stephen King before going to bed, it's obvious you can't take it."

  
Atticus rolled his eyes.

  
"And second, I can't take days off until she shows up in two or three weeks."

  
"I don't care, I can do it myself."

  
Still, after a moment, Atticus sat up with a sigh. He crossed his arms.

  
"I should have brought my Rubik's Cube."

* * *

The cemetery opened at seven in the morning and closed at seven in the evening. Somehow, Christina hadn't grown tired of waiting on the bench twelve hours a day. Some days she and Tic took shifts, but others she was on her own, waiting by the bench all day. She took short trips around the cemetery to stretch her legs. Very quickly she got a reputation as the strange person who sat and waited all day for something that never seemed to happen. She heard a couple of old ladies whispering about how she was probably a vampire or some soul-sucking creature, and Christina leaned even more into it just for fun. She put on sunglasses, sometimes carried an umbrella even though it wasn't supposed to rain. She smiled wide at the little ladies whenever she saw them, flashing her teeth. Tic thought it was ridiculous, but Christina would take her amusement wherever she could.

  
With winter coming closer by the day, the sky was always dark when Christina left the cemetery. Today had been another bust. No sign of anyone coming anywhere near the Cunningham vault. Christina was losing patience, however, she knew this was the best lead they had. Her mother was bound to come by sooner or later. She'd wait the year if she had to. She was considering bringing a book with her, but she wanted to keep her eyes on the vault.

  
As she walked to where her car was parked, all the shops were closing up. Light after light turned off on her path, leaving only streetlights and car headlights to illuminate the way to her car. There was no moon in the sky tonight, only airplanes. Christina dreamed of going home, running herself a bath, and read in the tub until she couldn't stand the cold water anymore.

  
She was almost at her car, parked in front of a hair salon. The door to the salon opened, the bell rung, and a woman stepped out, warmly saying goodbye to the owner.

  
"See you next month!"

  
As she turned around, Christina had no trouble recognizing Ruby. And since Ruby turned her way, she recognized the blonde too. Her smile fell and annoyance shifted her whole demeanor.

  
"Nice to see you too," Christina said as she noticed the irritation in Ruby's eyes.

  
"Are you going to try and get me in your car again or can I go about my day?" Ruby asked.

  
"You tell me."

  
Christina pointed to the silver Bentley parked at the edge of the curb.

  
"Does this look like a car you'd want to get into?"

  
"It looks like a death machine. Let me guess, you drive like the devil's on your back too?"

  
"I drive fast, yes," Christina said as she unlocked the car. "But I've never been in an accident, so I must be pretty good at it."

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"That's what they all say until their cars are wrapped around a streetlight and they've been thrown out of the windshield."

  
Christina smirked.

  
"Who's they?"

  
Ruby decided to walk away then.

  
"Somehow you always keep me from going where I have to go," Ruby complained loudly to herself.

  
"I'm sorry," Christina replied, surprising Ruby who stopped and looked back at the blonde. "I just like talking to you."

  
"You say talking, but your eyes mean something else," Ruby pointed out, even as Christina's eyes stopped on her lips.

  
"Are you interested in that something else?"

  
"With you? I think I've had enough trouble with a white rich person for a lifetime. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to work."

  
Ruby walked away, and Christina watched her go until she'd rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm very happy so many of you seemed to have enjoyed the first chapter! Keep your reactions coming, I'm really interested to see what you're all thinking!  
> I've added the 'angst' tag because I forgot to put it yesterday but it is true this story is very angsty, probably the most angsty I've written for these two.  
> Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow for the next chapter!


	3. The House with the Blue Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a Saturday afternoon...

It was a Saturday afternoon. The sun was dipping over the horizon, the sky turning purple in one corner and orange in the other. Atticus had completed his Rubik's Cube twice already and was attempting a third time. The cold November air passed over the cemetery, brushing a few stray dead leaves and carrying them over the stone pathway. Christina was reclined on the bench, considering whether she should get coffee for them. They still had at least three hours until the cemetery closed.

  
"How's the cube coming along?" she asked after Atticus groaned with frustration once again.

  
"I have to start over."

  
He shuffled the cube again.

  
"Can I try?" Christina asked, holding out a gloved hand.

  
"So you can show off how easy it is and call me dumb?"

  
"So I can distract myself. I'm minutes away from running across the street to buy cigarettes."

  
With a sigh, Atticus handed the cube to his cousin. She'd promised to stop smoking if he'd helped her, and it was a low blow on his part, but he didn't regret making the deal with her. When she stopped looking at the vault, he stared at it, his eyes taking over the task for hers. She hadn't played with a Rubik's Cube since she'd been thirteen, and she tried as hard as she could to remember the steps she'd memorized over a decade ago.

  
"You still up for a movie tonight?" he asked to distract himself.

  
He certainly could use the distraction. They were alone in the cold cemetery, waiting for someone who probably wouldn't come.

  
"Sure," Christina replied without looking up. "Have you decided which movie yet?"

  
"I don't know. I mean, _Frankenstein_ is interesting. Probably the closest thing we're ever gonna get from a true adaptation of the novel. But _New Nightmare_... Craven said it would be the last one."

  
"Keep in mind that I've never seen any of the _Nightmare on Elm Street_ movies."

  
Atticus sighed.

  
"Fine. I'll find someone else to see _New Nightmare_ with. I'm sure Diana will enjoy it."

  
Christina was halfway through the cube and she was sure she hadn't made any mistakes so far. Things seemed to be falling into place. Still, Atticus continued to talk beside her and she had to pause in her reflection.

  
"George asked if I wanted to help him open another agency in Florida."

  
"It's a good idea. Maybe Florida girls are more sensitive to your charms."

  
Tic rolled his eyes.

  
"Speaking of girls, are you ever going to tell me how you know Ruby, or do I have to continue to assume that you're not as good in bed as you always pretend?"

  
"Oh, dear cousin, don't talk about things you don't know. You can critic my skills in bed when you pick up some."

  
With a satisfied smirk, Christina quickly finished the cube. She showed it to her Atticus, surprised that he hadn't attempted to reply to her jab. His eyes were glued on the vault's entrance. Christina followed his gaze. The doors were open. She swallowed thickly, feeling her whole body grow nervously cold and sweatingly hot in the same breath. They stared silently. An eternity later, a woman emerged out of the vault. She was wearing a long brown coat and a burgundy red scarf. Long black hair was tied into a high ponytail. Christina kept her eyes on her, her heart pounding in her throat. The woman had light black skin and she was smaller than Christina, but even from a distance, Atticus could tell they had the same chin and jawline.

  
The woman disappeared through the gates of the cemetery, and it was like a cold shower for Christina. She stood up suddenly, leaving the cube forgotten on the bench. Atticus grabbed it quickly and followed his cousin outside. The woman was making her way down the street, walking casually on the sidewalk. Christina was already following, keeping quite a distance between them.

  
"I'll bring the car around," Atticus told her, although he wasn't certain she'd heard.

  
Christina followed as the woman stopped at a crossing. She stopped thirty feet from her and waited until she'd cross to follow. The light had already changed again but Christina rushed through the street, ignoring the angry honking directed at her. The woman turned to the right and soon made her way into a multistory parking lot. Christina stopped then, nervously biting her lip. Should she go in and talk to her? Should she wait? As soon as the woman would drive away, she might not have another chance to talk to her.

  
There was another honking, and she saw Atticus driving toward her in his old banged-up car.

  
"Did you lose her?" he said as she ran across the street and stepped into the vehicle.

  
"She's in the parking lot."

  
He nodded and drummed his fingers nervously on the steering wheel. Christina's eyes were on the parking lot exit. Atticus had never seen her so anxious before.

  
"There!"

  
An ordinary white car drove out of the parking lot, and through the window, Christina recognized the woman driving. Atticus did a U-turn, bothering even more people, and followed. Christina instantly reached for the glove box and pulled out the manila envelope and a pen. She scratched down the model and license plate, using her knee as support. Atticus kept his eyes on the white car. Christina's leg bounced restlessly. Her cousin was driving too slow for her taste but at the same time, if Christina had been the one driving, she probably would have driven past the car ten minutes earlier.

  
They turned on a street similar to the one Christina lived at, full of big, old, beautiful houses, with nice gardens all around. The kind of streets where children played and people eyed Tic's bucket suspiciously. The car stopped in front of one of the houses and Tic wasn't certain what to do anymore. He was about to stop when Christina told him to keep going. He did, slowly. The woman was already out of the car, taking shopping bags out of her trunk. Christina watched her push the front gate and noted the number. 35. She wrote it down on the envelope, along with the name of the street.

  
"Do you want me to drop you off?" Tic asked.

  
The question rang heavily in Christina's mind. The woman walked up a set of stone steps to the front door, pulling her keys out of her bag with difficulty. It would be so easy to walk up to her, to ask if she needed any help, to see if she recognized her at all. The woman unlocked the front door, a navy blue door with a golden knocker on it.

  
"Keep going."

  
"You're sure?"

  
"Keep going."

  
Without another word, Atticus drove off.

* * *

Ruby was about to close off when she noticed Christina still seating in a booth in a corner, not one but four whiskey glasses cluttering the table in front of her. That was where all her whiskey glasses had gone, Ruby thought. She must have been served by the new waiter because Ruby hadn't even noticed that the blonde had even been here at all. Which surprised her even more. The few times Christina had gone to the bar, she'd made sure Ruby had spotted her. She looked absolutely miserable, her gaze deeply lost in her half-empty glass as if it contained the answers to the universe. She wasn't the first one Ruby had seen who was looking for answers at the bottom of the glass.

  
"Closing time," she said, less annoyed and more gentle than usual.

  
Christina seemed to blink back to life.

  
"I'm sorry, I didn't see the time pass."

  
"Do you want me to call you a cab?" Ruby suggested as the blonde knocked back the rest of her drink in a single gulp.

  
"I can handle it."

  
Christina tried to get out of the booth and her head began to spin. Her legs were numb and she hadn't even notice. Ruby caught her before she could fall.

  
"Yeah, you better stay put while I call you a cab."

  
Silently, the most silent Ruby had ever seen her, Christina settled back into the booth. Ruby picked up the empty glasses and brought them to the counter to clean them up. She called for a cab and washed the glasses, keeping an eye on the blonde. She was deep in thoughts, fingers crossed over the table like a lawyer about to break some bad news. Ruby had never seen her so still. Her eyes were haunted by something. That usual spark of excitement had completely drained from her, leaving only deep melancholia behind. After a while, Ruby grew scared of the energy the blonde was giving off.

  
"Are you okay?" she asked as she moved to clean the tables near Christina.

  
"Never better," the blonde lied.

  
She sighed.

  
"Will you answer honestly if I ask you something?"

  
"Depends," Ruby said as she stopped cleaning and leaned on a high table, looking at Christina. "I mean, you're the only person besides my OB who knows about... so I might as well."

  
Christina passed a hand through her hair, brushing a few strands of white-blonde hair away from her eyes.

  
"What would you do if you found your mother again? I mean if you hadn't seen her for 23 years and you thought she was dead, but she wasn't. What would you do if you go and see her?"

  
Ruby frowned.

  
"That was oddly specific, but alright. I'll bite."

  
Ruby left the wet rag on the table and sat in the booth opposite Christina.

  
"I'd probably go and talk to her."

  
"To tell her what? Hey, it's me, the child your ex-husband forced you to abandon and you never thought you'd see again?"

  
"Probably, yeah."

  
"And if she doesn't want to talk to you?"

  
Ruby sighed.

  
"Okay, so I'm going to assume that what you ask me is the situation you're into."

  
Christina gave a slight shrug. Ruby continued.

  
"So your father forced your mother to give you up?"

  
"Not exactly. My mother filed for divorce. Said my father was abusive and neglectful. He flipped the script on her, and she managed to divorce but couldn't get custody of me."

  
"And for 23 years you thought she was dead?"

  
"Suicide, that's what he told me."

  
Ruby nodded. She didn't know whether it was the alcohol or if Christina was always so honest about her life. But then again, it was the woman who had been openly flirting with her in broad daylight in the middle of the street.

  
"So you recently learned she wasn't dead. Did he tell you?"

  
Christina shook her head.

  
"He died. I found some papers in his office, interrogated a few people. It wasn't hard to piece it all together."

  
"And you found her again?"

  
"Today."

  
Christina looked down as if she expected to find her glass of whiskey and was disappointed to find the clean table instead.

  
"I've been waiting at the cemetery for almost two weeks now. For her to show up. She finally did. I followed her. I know where she lives. I almost went. I wanted to. But also, I didn't want to. I wasn't certain what I would even tell her."

  
Ruby gave her a sympathetic smile and put her hand on Christina's. The blonde looked at her with surprise.

  
"You got scared, I imagine it's completely normal. You haven't seen her since you were a kid. But as someone who's mother is really dead, you can't even imagine what I would give to talk to her again."

  
Ruby pursed her lips.

  
"Well, maybe not right now that I'm expecting out of wedlock, but you know what I mean."

  
Christina smiled, and the ghosts haunting her eyes seemed to recede to the farther corner of her pupils.

  
"Thanks. Maybe I'll go see her tomorrow. Sunday seems like a good day for a family reunion, right?"

  
"It's what God made Sunday for."

* * *

Sunday came and Christina didn't go to see her mother. She was so hungover and felt so bad that she stayed in bed until she was too hungry. She was about to order food when she heard a knock on her door. Atticus was standing on the other side, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a bag of Chinese takeout in the other.

  
"Jesus, you look like shit," he said at the sight of the blonde.

  
She was wearing sweatpants and an old MIT tee-shirt, her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail. There was no life behind her tired eyes, only anguish.

  
"That's what happens when you leave me to drink alone."

  
"You didn't tell me you were going for a drink," Atticus pointed out.

  
"Fair enough."

  
She finally stepped aside and let her cousin inside. He hid the bottle in her alcohol cabinet and came back from the kitchen with two large glasses of water. Christina hadn't even waited for him, digging into the warm noodles while on TV an old episode of _Murder, She Wrote_ played.

  
"So I'm assuming you still haven't gone to talk to her," Atticus said after eating a dumpling.

  
"Very astute observation."

  
"And you don't look like you're going to go this afternoon either."

  
Christina finished half of her glass of water. If she'd known Atticus was going to give her even more of a headache, she would have never let him in. She would have taken the takeout and the alcohol and left him on the porch.

  
"I was ready to go, but I feel as bad as I look. I don't want her first impression of me to be this."

  
"That makes sense. Just, don't let it drag on for too long. Cause I know you. You're going to overthink it, and you're going to spend days waiting for the perfect moment that's never going to come. And then one morning you'll wake up, and it'll be Christmas already, or something like that, and you'll still be wallowing all alone in your goddamn palace."

  
Christina rolled her eyes.

  
"I just thought I might wait until the autumn equinox."

  
Atticus frowned.

  
"When's that?"

  
"This year? September 23rd. Almost two months ago. I guess I have to wait until next year."

  
Her cousin sighed.

  
"I can't believe all those days staking in a cemetery were a waste of time..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Last day of 2020! We made it!  
> So, I think I need to give a bit of an explanation regarding Clarissa (Christina's mother). She's been discussed quite a lot on the Discord server, and one of the ideas that a few people have come up with was that maybe Clarissa was black. I thought the idea was very interesting so when I decided to write this story, I thought I would add it because I thought it was worth sharing with everyone. So no, the idea of Clarissa being black isn't mine at all, I'll give all the credit to the wonderful people of the Discord server!  
> If you don't like the idea that Clarissa is black in this story, there really isn't much I can do now that the whole story has been written... But still, you can tell me (politely) about it in the comments.  
> Anyway, I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2020 and I'll see you next year for the next chapter!


	4. Lunch for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a thoughtful day, they met in the park

Everything was fine, the gynecologist had said. Everything was not fine, Ruby thought as she walked out of the doctor's office. She was carrying a three-month-old fetus, and somehow she hadn't realized exactly what that meant until the doctor showed her little gray blobs on a black screen and said 'This is your baby'. In six months, she would be pushing out this baby into the world. The thought was dizzying.

  
It was almost midday when Ruby left her doctor's office. She walked to the nearest train station, lost in thoughts. She walked past the train station, and continued to walk, trying to clear her mind. So she was doing this. She'd already decided she was doing it, but somehow seeing the images made things just a little more concrete and stressful. Come May she would have a kid. It wasn't that she didn't know what to do with it. She'd practically raised Leti, she could take care of a kid. But this one, they would be her kid.

  
She walked past the park's gate without even realizing it. The trees were shedding, turning the usually white gravel path into a bed of dead leaves. The day was thankfully warm for November, either because the wind wasn't as biting, or Ruby was so stressed that she couldn't feel it anymore. She walked around the fountain where pigeons were splashing around in the cold water. She walked past the playground, where a few parents were trying to drag their children home. She purposefully avoided looking at it and pressed forward.

  
Christina was seating on a bench near the park's exit. Ruby recognized her quickly. Her long blonde hair curtained the side of her face away from prying eyes, but the way she leaned back against the bench was familiar to her now. She was wrapped in a long black coat, her scarf tugged in to keep the wind from blowing it away. She was wearing high heels boots, her legs crossed. She seemed to be watching the passerby, although Ruby wasn't so sure. She was flipping something between her fingers, and it took Ruby a moment to realize it was an unlit cigarette.

  
Ruby stopped near her, uncertain what to say to get the blonde's attention. Fortunately, she didn't have to, as it seemed that even with her hair in front of her eyes, Christina had seen her coming.

  
"And here I was, thinking today would be another bad day."

  
As she spoke, Christina brushed the strand of hair away from her eyes, and the sight of those two cold sapphires looking up at her sent a shiver down Ruby's spine. She stopped playing with the cigarette and tugged it behind her ear.

  
"I'm glad you decided to walk by and make my day."

  
Ruby rolled her eyes, although the corner of her lips pulled into the hint of a smile.

  
"Bad day?"

  
Christina sighed.

  
"Thoughtful day. About the kind of thoughts I'd like to avoid."

  
"I'm... having somewhat of the same day," Ruby admitted halfheartedly.

  
Instantly, Christina's smile turned malicious, Cheshire-like.

  
"Oh? Do tell."

  
"I suppose you're the only person I can tell anyway," Ruby said, somewhat annoyed that she had to confide into the blonde again, yet confiding anyway.

  
"I just left my first-trimester check-up."

  
Christina's smile disappeared, replaced by concern, and Ruby felt her heart thaw.

  
"Everything alright?"

  
"Yes. I got the first pictures and it's just..."

  
She sighed.

  
"It made it a bit more real, you know? I know it's in there, I think about it at least ten times a day, but seeing images is just... different."

  
Christina nodded, although she didn't understand the feeling, and certainly hoped she never would.

  
"I don't think I ever apologized for opening your letter," Christina said. "Would you let me buy you lunch?"

  
Ruby opened her mouth to protest, but Christina quickly added:

  
"I promise it's not a date. Just two acquaintances going to get lunch at that somewhat expensive fake French café over there. We can distract each other from our problems for at least a good hour. And I'm paying."

  
Ruby closed her mouth. The prospect of a free meal was interesting, and despite her earlier reservation, she found spending time with the blonde wasn't the torture she once thought it was.

  
"You know what? Fine. I'll let you buy me lunch."

* * *

Christina led Ruby to a meadow green restaurant a block away from the park. Brave souls were having their lunch on small tables in front of the restaurant. Since Ruby wasn't feeling too brave that Wednesday, she asked the waiter for a table inside. He led them to a round table near the window. The air inside was very warm, and soft instrumental music played, barely audible over the voices of the other patrons.

  
Ruby took off her coat and turned to her chair just to see Christina holding up her chair. She rolled her eyes but sat down.

  
"I thought this wasn't a date."

  
"You don't have to be on a date to be a gentleman."

  
"Like you would have done this for anyone else."

  
Christina did not answer, turning to the alcohol page of the menu instead. Ruby flipped through the menu. The restaurant had a nice lunch menu, where the meal was accompanied with soup or a salad, and she was in the mood for soup.

  
"I'm assuming there's no point in asking you about wine," Christina said with amusement.

  
"I'd like to see you give up alcohol at the most anxious moment of your life."

  
"I'm already giving up smocking, one addiction at a time."

  
"Is that why you have a cigarette behind your ear?" Ruby said as she looked up from the menu.

  
Christina seemed to remember the cigarette keeping a strand of hair out of her eyes. She took it out and placed it in the empty ashtray on the table. Hair fell in front of her eyes again, and she brushed it away with a displeased sigh.

  
"I'm trying. I promised Atticus I would stop so he would help me find my mother, and I always keep a promise, no matter how frustrating they are."

  
Ruby folded the menu, having made her choice, and poured herself a glass of water.

  
"How did it go with your mother?"

  
She might not have known the blonde for very long, but she very quickly knew the answer to her question.

  
"You haven't gone yet."

  
Christina continued to stare at the menu.

  
"Is this why you were sulking on the bench?"

  
Christina's eyes snapped to her.

  
"I wasn't sulking. Just, thinking."

  
The waiter returned, putting a pause on their conversation. They ordered, Christina surprising not taking any alcohol, and once the table was cleared of menus, the waiter walked away.

  
"Did the alcohol make you forget my motivational speech?" Ruby asked after taking a sip of water.

  
"No, I remember all of it. But I was very hungover on Sunday. No better way to reconnect with my long lost mother than hungover and tired, am I right?"

  
Ruby cringed at the thought.

  
"So you didn't go on Sunday. What about Monday? Yesterday?"

  
"What if she's not home? I don't want to be waiting outside her home for hours."

  
"As opposed to waiting for her in the cemetery?"

  
Christina pursed her lips, visibly irritated.

  
"And here I thought you would distract me from my problems, not drive the knife deeper."

  
Ruby smiled proudly.

  
"I have a feeling you're just looking for excuses. Will you go this afternoon?"

  
Christina finished her glass of water instead of answering.

  
"Will you?"

  
"I don't know!"

  
"Why not?"

  
Christina's jaw tightened. Ruby could tell she was hitting a nerve, but she wasn't going to stop pressing until she'd extracted the answer out of her.

  
"What if she doesn't want to see me again?" Christina admitted, her shoulders sinking in slightly, the thinness of her frame becoming apparent to Ruby for the first time. "What if she forgot about me? I was part of an old life she might not want to see dragged out into the light."

  
"You're afraid of rejection."

  
Christina poured herself another glass of water, visibly regretting not having ordered alcohol.

  
"What happens when your mother rejects you?" she asked. "I mean, really, what happens? Is the husk of a soul I have left going to leave me completely?"

  
Ruby gave her a sympathetic smile and placed her hand on the table. Tentatively, Christina reached for it.

  
"I can come with you if you want to."

  
"No, it's fine. I just need to brace myself for a door shutting on my face."

  
"Don't think of the worst possibility."

  
"I have to. I can't get ready for it if I don't think about it."

  
Christina sighed. Ruby squeezed her hand once then let go, reaching for her glass.

  
"Your turn," Christina said, changing the subject at the first lull in the conversation. "What's causing that thoughtful frown?"

  
Ruby chuckled.

  
"You mean, besides how I'm going to break the news to my brother and sister? Not much. Where am I going to put the crib? Maybe I should start looking for a bigger apartment, to give the kid their own room."

  
The waiter returned with two plates. Christina's steak and salad, and Ruby's lamb side ribs and soup. He left a basket of bread rolls and with one last smile, he walked off. The mouthwatering smell of the meat alone made Ruby's stomach gurgle.

  
"There's nothing else troubling you about your situation?" Christina questioned.

  
Ruby glared at her.

  
"I thought we were here to distract each other, not torture each other over lunch."

  
Christina shook her head in disbelief but let the conversation go.

* * *

Saturday, mid-afternoon. Christina had been staring at the blue door for an eternity and a half. The white car was parked in front of her, meaning her mother was still inside. She'd seen moving through the curtained windows. It was a disgusting day, dark clouds spitting rain every half hour. The air was heavy, suffocating even, or perhaps it was only adrenaline preventing Christina from breathing properly. She'd been fighting the urge to fly ever since she'd stepped into her car. She didn't want to fight either. She just wanted to step out of the car and knock at the door, if her legs and her arms and her hands and her brain and her stomach allowed her.

  
She took a deep breath and finally managed to open her car door. There was a lull in the rain. She didn't grab an umbrella and tugged her hands in the pocket of her coat. She locked her car and walked up to the gate. It had been left open. She climbed up the stairs. Each step felt like stepping into mush. Christina was reminded of the scene in Nightmare on Elm Street. It felt the same, trying to climb up to the door, her feet sinking into the stone instead of trampling them.

  
Somehow she was at the door. There was an uncomfortable warmth in her gut, which she knew was caused by an unhealthy dose of fear and adrenaline. Blood was pounding in her brain. It could have been swelling and hitting her skull with every beat and the feeling would have been the same. She couldn't feel her heart in her chest anymore, just the impression of a heart, the ghost of her heart taking residence under her constricted lungs.

  
She rang at the door. Above the button, a neat metal plaque announced that the house belonged to Devon and Clarissa Hunt. At least she was sure of the name. She clenched her fists in her pockets and waited. She heard rustling behind the door, footsteps, keys jiggling. Christina's heart stopped in her chest.

  
Of all the things she expected to see on the other side of the door, a teenage boy wasn't among them. He was dressed in a clean soccer uniform, missing only his shoes. Christina had no idea whether he was tall or short for his age. He was as tall as her shoulders, and even then she wasn't certain, as he had short black hair in a hi-top fade cut which gave him an extra inch. He looked at Christina curiously, his dark eyes scanning her up and down.

  
"Can I help you?" he asked, pulling Christina out of her surprise.

  
"I'm... I'm looking for Clarissa Cunningham?" she tried because what else was she supposed to say?

  
The boy turned around and called:

  
"Mom, it's for you!"

  
It wasn't that Christina had doubts, but hearing him calling her 'mom' broke something in her, something childlike and hidden.

  
"I'll be right there," a voice said from within the house.

  
The longer the door remained open and the more the smell of chocolate flew out of the house. Christina heard something shutting, an oven maybe, and footsteps. The kid might still have been staring at her, but Christina was looking over his shoulder, to the bright hallway leading into the house. Finally, a woman appeared. Small, wearing a cozy pair of jeans and woolen sweater. Black curly hair fell to her shoulders. She had the same dimple on her chin as Christina. Her skin was lighter than the boy's, and her eyes less curious. They found Christina and turned wide, surprised, confused, unbelieving, hopeful, sorrowful.

  
"Christina?"

  
There had been an emptiness in Christina's chest she had never felt before, but she knew it had been empty until she heard her mother speak her name.

  
"Hi, mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy New Year!  
> I thought I would take the time to do a follow-up on yesterday's A/N because I've read all of your comments and it's obvious some of you might want a longer explanation on why I decided to make Clarissa black. It's probably going to be very long and I'll try to not forget anything that I have to say. So here goes.  
> When I first got the idea I was hesitant to do it, for some of the reasons that you've listed. What if people think it's offensive? It's absolutely unnecessary either, so why bother with it if it will probably cause more problems for me? But I decided to do it for two reasons. One, because I hate this idea that every character or color or every queer character needs a justification to exist in a story. It might be idealistic on my part and I know it can't be applied to every story either. But since this story is about motherhood and motherhood is universal, I saw no harm in making Clarissa a black woman. The second reason is that I knew someone in high school who was white but both of their parents were black. I just thought 'if it can happen in real life, then why not in this story too?'  
> So armed with those two reasons and the thought that someone had to try it, at least once, I wrote this story. And I really like it. But I can also understand why it might bother some of you. So I've decided this morning that if it really bothered too many people, I would stop it. I didn't mean to offend anyone with it, it's just a silly story about family and decidedly not a hill to die on. I understand that sometimes you succeed and sometimes you fail. But I'd rather fail now, on a small fanfiction, and learn from that failure. Because if not now then when? I'm gonna be 23 in a few days, now is the perfect time to fail.  
> I think that's all I had to say. Again, I really appreciated all of your feedback from the previous chapter, and don't hesitate to give me more! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you tomorrow for the next one!


	5. She Used to Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother and daughter reunite

Clarissa brushed past her son and pulled her daughter into a hug. Christina was still too surprised to do anything except let herself be embraced. It was foreign and warm and so, so overdue. Her mother was so much smaller than she ever thought she would feel. Sadly, Christina thought she might have overgrown the need for a mother. Still, she hugged her back. Clarissa inhaled sharply against her, taking in everything about her daughter. The hug seemed to last as long as Christina had waited in the car before knocking. As long as she waited in the cemetery, her eyes on the vault door. As long as she waited in bed, as a child, for her mother to tug her in.

  
They parted, somehow. They managed to. Clarissa was still stunned. She could only stammer in a couple of words at a time.

  
"How did you...? How did you find me? I thought... Does he...?"

  
"It's a long story," Christina said quietly.

  
Clarissa nodded. She was about to invite her daughter inside when she seemed to remember her son beside her, who looked at the two women curiously.

  
"Caleb, can you please go upstairs for now? I'll come to get you when we have to leave for practice."

  
Caleb sent a pointed look at Christina, the kind that reminded her of Tic when he thought Christina was plotting something. Then, he looked at his mother with confusion.

  
"Mom? What's going on? Who is she?"

  
Clarissa pursed her lips.

  
"I'll explain later, I promise. You and I and your father are going to sit down and talk about this, but for now, go to your room."

  
Reluctantly, the boy walked away from the door and climbed up the stairs, his sock-clad feet making a massive amount of noise as if he wanted to make sure they didn't forget he existed.

  
"Come in."

  
It all felt too surreal, and the instinct to flee was back in full force, but Christina stepped into the room. She followed her mother around wooden staircases and walls bearing family pictures to the kitchen. The oven was burning red, the smell of cake leaking out.

  
"Can I get you anything?" Clarissa asked as if she were talking to an old high school friend she hadn't seen in a long time.

  
"Water is fine."

  
Clarissa poured her a tall glass of water and Christina drank half of it. She'd barely spoken but she already felt her throat was dry and her mouth sour. The kitchen was bigger than the one in her house, with pictures and drawings and tests magnetized to the fridge, in the kind of way normal families did that Christina was unfamiliar with.

  
"We moved here before Caleb started elementary," Clarissa said because much like her daughter she seemed at a loss for words. "The previous apartment was getting a bit small."

  
Christina nodded along, uncertain of what she was supposed to reply to that. Clarissa reached for her again, passing a hand over her arm, as if she were still trying to convince herself that she was real.

  
"Let me take your coat."

  
Christina obeyed, giving her coat and scarf to her mom who went to hang them at the family coat hanger in the hallway. She moved to the living room and Christina followed. She was a lost duckling who'd finally found her way to her mother again. But then, why did she feel just as lost as before? Her mother sat on the couch and Christina took the armchair to sit opposite her.

  
"How did you find me? I thought I'd never see you again," Clarissa said with a tense voice, close to tears.

  
"As I said, it's a long story..."

  
"Hold on."

  
Clarissa turned toward the stairs and called out:

  
"Caleb, you're not listening in from the staircase, are you?"

  
They heard the gentle creaking of stairs and a door shutting.

  
"He used to do the same thing as a kid when he wanted to watch movies he wasn't supposed to see."

  
Christina's heart pinched in her chest. She never had a mother to tell her off from watching movies late at night. She had a father who didn't care where she was so long as she was on time for all three meals, so they could sit on opposite sides of a giant table and ignore each other.

  
"I can't believe after all this time," Clarissa said, her eyes taking in every detail of Christina's face. "Did he finally tell you about the divorce?"

  
Christina shook her head. Then, she told her everything. About her father's death from a cancer no one saw coming. About her clearing his office and finding the divorce certificate and the private detectives he had sent to keep an eye on her. About how she extracted the truth from her father's lawyer through sheer anger and a decent amount of blackmail. About how she moved here, to look for her, and how she found her after staking the cemetery for two long weeks. When she ended her tale, her mother was crying.

  
"My little cub," Clarissa said as she brushed tears out of her eyes. "Always getting what you want."

  
"I suppose it's a Braithwhite trait."

  
Clarissa sighed.

  
"So he really is dead."

  
"I got him cremated, just in case he thought about coming back."

  
Clarissa chuckled.

  
"And the ashes?"

  
"In the family vault. I thought about dumping them somewhere unpleasant but the thought of his ghost haunting me for the rest of my life was enough to stop me. But not by much."

  
"I can't believe it's over..."

  
Clarissa brushed more tears before they could escape her eyes.

  
"After the divorce was pronounced I didn't know what to do. He'd managed to take me away from you, I couldn't come to see you at all... I had nothing. He got all of my family properties and money when we got married, and he barely gave me back half of it."

  
She sighed.

  
"So I came back home to Chicago. Both of your grandparents were already dead. I was alone. I mean, I took an old cat from a shelter but it wasn't the same. Then, I finished my studies and became a school teacher. Still am. That's how I met Devon."

  
"Is he a teacher too?" Christina asked.

  
She didn't care much about Devon, but if he was integral to her mother's life after her, she would listen.

  
"A pediatric surgeon. He was in residency when one of my students had a pretty bad operation. I went to see him after school to bring him homework and speak to his parents and Devon happened by."

  
Clarissa sighed, lost in her memories.

  
"He is nothing like your father..."

  
"Does he know? About me?"

  
"He does. I told him, but I also told him I probably would never see you again. He's going to be very surprised."

  
She sighed again, and Christina could imagine the gears turning in her mother's head as she thought about how she was going to break the news to him. Then, she turned back to Christina.

  
"What about you? A boyfriend?"

  
Christina pursed her lips.

  
"No. But there's this girl..."

  
She waited, holding her breath. Her father had never known about the dozens of girls who had passed through her bed. Mostly he was glad she rebuked every man who came near her. Assume everyone is out to get your money, that was the talk he gave her. What does it matter when I have enough to sustain a small country, Christina had thought.

  
"A girlfriend then? Who is she?"

  
Christina looked up at her mother, astonished.

  
"You don't care?"

  
"Oh, my little cub. I already knew. When you were three you told me you wanted to marry a witch like Samantha from Bewitched. I'm assuming it hasn't changed since."

  
Christina felt tears well up in her eyes and she brushed them off quickly. The empty hole in her chest was at its fullest, and yet it continued to be fill. Whatever was filling it up was overflowing into every cell of her body.

  
"So, that girl?"

  
"Not a girlfriend. I don't exactly do girlfriends."

  
Clarissa rolled her eyes.

  
"What's her name?"

  
"Ruby. Ruby Baptiste."

  
Clarissa shook her head as the name didn't sound familiar in the slightest.

  
"She's the one who convinced me to come, actually," Christina admitted. "I mean, I was going to come by eventually, but she convinced me to come today and not in a few years."

  
Her mother smiled.

  
"Remind me to thank her for it when I get the chance. And this Ruby interests you, but you don't want to go out with her? Why?"

  
"Relationships are complicated. I tried, I really did, but the common complaint I get is that I'm too insufferable and impossible to be around."

  
Clarissa smiled at her as a comforting mother would.

  
"I'm sure that's not true."

  
"No, it is. I am impossible to be around. Father never bothered to raise me, I had no mother to help through my formative years and I'm too selfish to consider other people's desire before my own."

  
Clarissa frowned.

  
"Did a shrink tell you that?"

  
"Atticus got me a book on improving yourself for better relationships. He particularly highlighted the passages on selfishness and the sort of behavior a partner hates."

  
Before Clarissa could answer, Caleb shouted from upstairs:

  
"Mom, I'm going to be late for practice!"

  
Clarissa looked at her daughter apologetically.

  
"I'm sorry, I have to take him."

  
Christina stood up.

  
"No, it's no problem. It was a bad idea to drop by uninvited."

  
Christina reached for her daughter's hand.

  
"No, of course not! Never feel like you can't come here. This is your home too."

  
Christina nodded. She let her mother lead her to the door, where she took her coat and scarf and slipped them on quickly. From the top of the stairs, she could feel Caleb's eyes on her.

  
"Here."

  
Her mother handed her a piece of paper with a phone number on it.

  
"Call me if you need anything. I mean it."

  
Christina secured the phone number in her pocket.

  
"And maybe we could plan something, so I could introduce you properly to Devon and Caleb."

  
Christina vaguely nodded.

  
"Of course."

  
Clarissa pulled her into another hug before letting her out of the door. Christina was back in her car before she knew it, staring at the stirring wheel. Had she just dreamed the entire encounter? She checked her pocket. The phone number was there. Maybe it hadn't been a dream, after all, just plain old reality.

* * *

When Ruby saw Christina leaning against the counter, a casual smile on her lips and that glimmer of excitement deep in her eyes, she knew something good had happened to her.

  
"Since I know you're not a happy drunk, I'm thinking you probably won the lottery or something," Ruby said as she moved to the blonde to take her order.

  
"I already have more money than I could ever win at the lottery."

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"Lucky you. So what then?"

  
"I went to see my mother," Christina said with a smile.

  
Ruby smiled back, happy for the blonde who seemed relaxed and content.

  
"It went well then."

  
"She didn't shut the door on my face. She hugged me."

  
"That's sweet."

  
Ruby poured a glass of whiskey for Christina and placed it on the table in front of her. She couldn't believe that the blonde had been coming for barely two weeks and she already knew her usual order.

  
"Here, on the house, to celebrate."

  
"I'm the last person you should give free drinks to."

  
"Just take it and thank me."

  
Christina smirked and obeyed.

  
"Thank you."

  
She took a sip and Ruby asked:

  
"Are you going to see her again?"

  
"Probably. I mean, I called her before coming here. She talked to her husband about me. They need to break the news to their son now."

  
"A husband and a son? Well, at least she wasn't alone all this time."

  
Christina could only nod. Her feelings about Devon and Caleb were still conflicting. The child in her wanted to have her mother all to herself. She'd waited long enough and suffered long enough without her. They'd had her for at least fifteen years, it was her turn now. But she also understood that they were a permanent fixture in her mother's life. She was the outsider, the grafted organ that the body needed to accept or reject.

  
"Listen," Christina said after taking another sip. "I have to thank you again for pushing me to talk to her. How do you feel about lunch tomorrow?"

  
Ruby sighed.

  
"Well, I'm busy tomorrow but if you really want to thank me, there's this new Japanese place on Michigan Avenue. I'll be there at seven sharp."

  
"I'll be there ten minutes early."

  
"Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Today is a "my spacebar is tired day" so I'll keep it short.  
> Thank you all for your comments on the previous chapter! It's a real pleasure to read all of your reactions and predictions!  
> I'll be posting a short one-shot in a moment, as part of a fun group exercise a few of us fic writers did. It's called "Conversation at the Top of the World".  
> As usual, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you tomorrow for the next one!


	6. Hormonal Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a date

This wasn't a date, Ruby told herself. And yet. Christina had booked a table in a far corner of the restaurant for them, away from most of the crowd. Once again, she pulled up her chair for her. Unlike during their lunch, however, there was a constant glint in her eyes, accompanied by the gentle smile on her lips, that told Ruby that the blonde would eat her up if she could.

  
"I hope you don't mind that I chose the table for us, I just wanted to have a quiet evening."

  
"It's fine," Ruby replied as she glanced at the empty tables all around them. "I'm sure there will be more people later on."

  
"Actually, I'm paying to keep all those tables empty for the night," Christina said as she poured them a glass of water each.

  
Ruby raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and Christina added:

  
"I almost rented the whole restaurant but I thought that might be too much for a non-date."

  
A non-date? That was what Christina had decided to call it? It almost felt like a lie, as if they both knew the truth and refused to admit it, teasing it instead. But it wasn't a date, Ruby kept repeating to herself.

  
"Are you staying sober this time too?" Ruby asked as she saw Christina flipping through the pages of the menu.

  
"I need to drive you home afterward, don't I?"

  
"I can take the train."

  
"Are you going to make me insist I drive you home?"

  
Ruby took a sip of water, making Christina purposefully wait for her answer.

  
"If I let you drive me home, we both know you're going to drive me to your home."

  
"I'll drive you wherever you want me to take you. Even to the moon if you ask."

  
Ruby chuckled.

  
"Alright, driver extraordinaire. Let me enjoy my dinner before you try to take me anywhere."

  
They ordered and Christina once again abstained from wine.

  
"I don't care that you drink around me," Ruby told her as the waiter left. "I'm not going to get jealous that you can drink and I can't."

  
"I'm just showing solidarity," Christina replied. "We can pop the champagne once the kid is out."

  
"You don't know anything about taking care of a baby, do you?"

  
Christina shrugged.

  
"And I don't intend to, to be honest. The Braithwhite line will end with me, I can assure you of that."

  
Ruby hummed thoughtfully.

  
"How are things going with your mother?"

  
"Fine, I suppose. Her husband is very happy that I'm here, or at least that's what she told me. Her son..."

  
"Your brother," Ruby pointed out.

  
Christina pursed her lips. She'd yet to call him such, as she even had trouble considering they shared half of their DNA.

  
"Caleb," she settled on. "He's still a bit puzzled. Clarissa thinks it's because he might be a bit jealous, but I don't see why."

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"You better do something about this quick, or else you're gonna be stuck being jealous of one another for the rest of your lives."

  
When Christina gave her a look, Ruby chuckled.

  
"I have a brother, I know what it's like. How old is he?"

  
"Thirteen."

  
Ruby winced visibly.

  
"That's the worst age for boys. I can't even imagine. Did you two meet already?"

  
"He hoped the door when I rang, but we haven't spoken yet."

  
Christina sighed and leaned back in her chair.

  
"I never exactly asked for a half-brother."

  
"Well, you got one anyway, and he's not gonna go away even if you lock him up in a broom closet. Trust me, I tried."

  
Christina laughed, struggling to keep the sound contained as the waiter came to give them their plates. When she finally calmed down and grabbed her pair of chopsticks, she said:

  
"She wants us to have this big family dinner soon but I don't know..."

  
Ruby finished her mouthful of gyoza before answering:

  
"Tell her that. Tell her you'd like the chance to see her again alone before you meet her men. I'm sure she'll understand."

  
Christina smiled, pleased with the idea.

* * *

Dinner was joyful. Ruby was very quickly getting addicted to the sound of Christina's laughter. They shared ice cream for dessert, one large bowl between them, and a spoon each. Christina gave up quickly but Ruby picked up the slacks, blaming the baby's craving for sugar. Once dinner was over, Christina said she would wave a waiter for the check, but they kept on talking and no waiter was ever waved over.

  
"Have you broken the news to your sibling yet?"

  
Ruby leaned forward in her chair and shook her head.

  
"Leti is still in China for God knows how long. She'll probably still be in Asia for another year, at least. I'm tempted to tell her once the baby is born. And Marvin... well, there's a reason he moved as soon as he could. He doesn't care much about family. Kinda like you."

  
Christina shrugged, leaned back in her chair, one elbow over the backrest.

  
"It's not that I don't care about family. I wouldn't have tried to track down my mother if I didn't. It's just that family is complicated. It's usually not worth the effort people think it is. Most of the time."

  
Silence settled between them for the first time in a long time. Ruby was extremely aware that Christina was staring at her lips. Her icy blue gaze spread warmth in her chest. Ruby purposefully licked her lower lip, just to see what Christina was going to do. The blonde stared intensely, then suddenly looked away at her watch. Ruby could swear there was pink on her cheeks.

  
"It's getting late. I should probably get you home."

  
"Unless..." Ruby caught herself saying.

  
Christina looked at her, eyes filled with hope.

  
"Unless?"

  
"Unless you live closer. I wouldn't want to make you take a detour. Since it's so late."

  
Christina's smile turned lion-like.

  
"As a matter of fact, I think I do live closer."

  
Christina lived further away from the restaurant than Ruby, and they both knew it. Still, as Christina drove, one hand on the wheel and the other on Ruby's knee, neither cared to mention it. They parked in front of the house and Christina opened the car door for Ruby, helping her out like a valet. They walked up the steps to the front door. Every cell in Ruby's body was trembling with uncontrollable electricity. An apprehensive pool of warmth had settled between her legs.

  
"Have you ever been inside before?" Christina asked as she struggled with the keys between her cold fingers.

  
It took a moment for Ruby to understand what she meant.

  
"No. We always went back to my place. Supposedly it was closer. I should have known he was lying."

  
Christina unlocked the door and held it open for Ruby.

  
"All the furniture is mine anyway. He left nothing but some bland wallpaper."

  
One second, Christina was locking the door. The next, she was being pulled toward Ruby by the lapel of her coat.

  
"If you don't shut up about him, I'm leaving."

  
"Duly noted."

  
They kissed hungrily. Their stomachs had been satiated by delicious food, now they had another itch to scratch. Christina pulled away to take off her scarf and coat, dumping them on the hardwood floor carelessly. Ruby barely had the time to take her scarf off before the blonde pulled her in for another kiss. Ruby's lips tasted like sugar and softness, ice cream. Without pulling away, she helped Ruby out of her coat, letting it fall with her own. If Ruby had any complaints, they were swallowed by the blonde, passing from one tongue to another.

  
Christina was already hard at work trying to get Ruby out of her woolen sweater and skirt and they'd barely crossed the entrance hall. One of Ruby's hand was in Christina's hair, pulling gently, making the blonde moan. The other was already struggling with the buttons of her shirt. Christina felt her skin was on fire, desperate for touch like never before. She pulled away and tore her shirt open, tiny buttons snapping off with a pleasing pop. Ruby's chuckle was cut short when Christina pulled her into another kiss, both hands on her waist. Ruby pushed Christina's shirt off of her, warm hands roaming over pale skin until she felt the lace of her bra.

  
Christina pushed Ruby back and back until her ankle felt the edge of a carpeted step. Christina pulled her sweater and long-sleeved tee-shirt off of her all at once. Ruby had already gotten her hands on the hooks of Christina's bra, one struggle away from unhooking them. It was just becoming harder and harder to focus when Christina was kissing down her neck and over the top of her breasts.

  
"We're never going to make it to the bed," Ruby breathed out.

  
Christina paused, looking up at Ruby. Her eyes were so blown there was but a thin, almost white circle around her pupils.

  
"Chose your surface," Christina said as her fingers crawled over scorching skin to the hooks of Ruby's bra.

  
Ruby managed a glance up the stairs. It seemed so far up. She got ahold of Christina's chin between two fingers, forcing the blonde's eyes on her eyes again.

  
"Here is fine," she huffed again Christina's ear, before pulling her into another kiss.

  
Slowly, they laid on the first few steps of the stairs. The carpet was plush enough that Ruby didn't instantly regret her choice. Then, Christina pulled her bra off, then hers, and sucked on her jugular, and any discomfort disappeared. Ruby was shaking with anticipation, while Christina seemed unstoppable. As she kissed reverently down Ruby's chest again, her hands were already working on the zipper of Ruby's skirt.

  
The skirt joined the other articles of clothing, and Christina licked Ruby's nipple before moving further down. Ruby shuddered. She didn't remember anyone had ever made her so breathless before, and before she was fully naked no less. Christina kissed all around her bellybutton. One of Ruby's hands threaded through her long hair, scratching her scalp. Christina huffed, her fiery breath bringing shivers all over Ruby's dark skin. She reached for the elastic of Ruby's purple lace panties and threw them across the room with amusement.

  
"Ice cream is nice, but this is certainly my favorite dessert."

  
Ruby's laughter caught in her throat when Christina licked her wet center with one flat, skillful tongue. Not a single word could get past Ruby's lips after that.

* * *

Ruby woke up in satin sheets, the smell of coffee calling her out of the bedroom. There was an ache in her chest, probably because her first thought was that this had been a mistake. Just pregnancy hormone making her horny for the first person showing her a bit of attention. She lay in bed for a moment, staring at the white ceiling of the room. She was pregnant, and fucking around with the first white pretty blond near her was what had gotten her in this situation in the first place. Now wasn't the time for relationships.

  
She didn't know where Christina had gone, but this wasn't Ruby's first walk of shame, so she might as well get on with it while the blonde was distracted in another room. She sat up and glanced at the alarm clock near the bed. It was almost ten. She was hungry and she wanted a shower, but both could wait until she got back to her apartment, she reasoned.

  
To her surprise, all of her clothes were in the bedroom, folded neatly on a chair. Christina must have picked them up earlier. She stood up and reached for her panties – ruined, of course, because Christina had that effect on her. The bedroom door opened, and Christina stepped in with a mug of coffee in hand. Ruby felt the urge to hide herself for a second, but then she realized Christina had seen all of her from quite a few angles the night before, so there was no reason to.

  
"I was coming to wake you up."

  
Christina was wrapped in a satin bathrobe where hundreds of crimson and black butterfly flew from one sleeve to the other.

  
"Coffee?"

  
"Thanks," Ruby said, though she made to move to reach for the mug. "I should get going."

  
"Sure," Christina said, and Ruby could swear she was a bit disappointed. "Do you want me to draw you a bath?"

  
"No, I'll take a shower when I get home."

  
"You sure? I could rub your back."

  
Christina tentatively shifted closer to her. Ruby sighed.

  
"Listen. I think last night... It was fun, but I'm... I can't start seeking a new relationship right now. Not when I'm pregnant."

  
Christina sat at the foot of the bed, legs crossed, revealing nothing but naked skin, and Ruby wondered if she was wearing anything under the bathrobe at all.

  
"See, I don't do relationships," Christina explained. "But I do a mean cappuccino," she continued, taking a sip of coffee then licking her lips, forcing Ruby's eyes on her mouth. "And I have a very large bathtub. And I'm really fucking good in bed, I think we can both agree on that."

  
She paused, taking another sip of coffee as if waiting for Ruby's reaction. When Ruby remained silent, Christina continued:

  
"Since you're not looking for a relationship, and I'm not looking for a relationship, I don't see why us fucking would be such a big problem. Think of me as a stress reliever. When you need me, just call and I'll be right there for you."

  
"That's your offer? Sex buddies?"

  
Christina chuckled.

  
"If you want to call it that, sure."

  
Christina stood up and placed the mug on the nearby vanity.

  
"Now, I'm going to draw a bath."

  
She brushed past Ruby to the bathroom, her fingers brushing the skin of her waist. Christina dropped her bathrobe right before stepping into the bathroom, and Ruby had her confirmation that she had been naked underneath after all. She sighed, staring at the pile of clothes beside her. The sound of rushing water echoed out of the tub. There was no harm in taking a bath, Ruby thought. She placed her panties back on the pile and followed the blonde to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Am I doing smut right yet?  
> Fun fact: I gave myself a headrush while writing this. Not because of the scene itself (I kind of thought it was bad and rushed until I read it again today and realized that since rushed was the mood I was going for it wasn't half-bad) but the pressure alone of thinking 'I have to write smut' gave me a headrush. Baby steps.  
> Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this non-date and I'll see you tomorrow for the next chapter!


	7. Girls' Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some quality mother-daughter time

Clarissa was finishing up at school, photocopying the exercises she would need for the next day. Two other teachers were gossiping around the coffee machine, not in any particular hurry to leave work and go home. Suddenly, Clarissa heard the blinds on the window being shifted.

  
"Who is that?" one of her colleagues, Janice, asked.

  
"Who?" the other, Barbra, replied.

  
"Over there, on the parking lot."

  
Since all the students had left already, Clarissa had an inclining. She picked up her photocopies and pushed the blinds aside to check outside too. Christina was parked in front of the school, leaning against her expensive silver car. Her long coat and heels made her look taller than she already was, and despite the somewhat grayish day, she was wearing sunglasses.

  
"That's my daughter," Clarissa replied with a smile.

  
Happiness bloomed in her chest every time she said that word. It felt so surreal still, that some mornings she had to remind herself that her daughter was back in her life.

  
Her colleagues glanced at her with surprise, then back outside.

  
"What? Stop joking," Janice said, chuckling awkwardly.

  
Clarissa had no intentions of unveiling her whole life history, so she simply replied:

  
"I'm not. That is my daughter. She's picking me up, we're going out tonight."

  
"But..."

  
"I mean..."

  
Just in case, the two women glanced out again.

  
"She's... and you're..."

  
"I'm what?" Clarissa asked because she knew where this was going. 

  
"I mean," Janice continued, clearing her throat. "You look too young to have a daughter as old as her."

  
Nice save, Clarissa thought.

  
"I'll take that as a compliment," Clarissa said as she walked out of the teacher's lounge.

  
She went back to her classroom, left the photocopies, and picked up her things before leaving. Christina was patiently waiting against her car, hands in her pockets. Clarissa knew her two colleagues were still observing through the windows. She pulled her daughter in a hug when she reached her.

  
"How was your day?" she asked as she climbed in the luxurious car.

  
Christina settled behind the wheel.

  
"Fine. Probably more boring than yours."

  
Clarissa looked around the car. She should have expected her daughter had the same taste for expensive cars as her father. She simply hoped her driving skills were better than his. She secured her seatbelt and Christina turned on the engine.

  
"You could have come inside," Clarissa said as Christina drove around the mostly empty parking lot. "My colleagues are going to start spreading rumors now if they see me leaving school with a young rich girl."

  
Christina rolled her eyes at the absurdity of the idea.

  
"They're just jealous."

  
"Probably."

  
They drove through downtown quickly, making small talks all the while. Christina drove like the devil was on her heels, but with more grace and skills than her father ever thought he possessed. Still, Clarissa didn't appreciate it much.

  
"Why are you going so fast? We're not trying to lose the cops."

  
Christina ignored her mother's concerns and pulled up in front of the bar in record time. When Clarissa stepped out, she said:

  
"I'll drive to the restaurant."

  
Christina was about to complain, but the look her mother gave her was enough to shut her up.

  
"Sure. But it's a sport's car, not your tiny city roamer. It's supposed to be driven quickly."

  
"Well, at least you didn't give it a woman's name like your father used to do."

  
They stepped into the bar. It was half-full already as students had taken over one large corner of the room. Christina managed to get a high table and two chairs for them. They sat down and Christina quickly noticed Ruby mending the bar.

  
"When are we supposed to be at the restaurant?" Clarissa asked as she took off her scarf.

  
"Seven, as you asked."

  
They had about an hour to fill before going to the restaurant. It was good, Clarissa thought. One night out, just her and her daughter, reconnecting.

  
"Do you come here often?"

  
Christina shrugged.

  
"Not because of the alcohol, mind you."

  
Clarissa followed Christina's gaze to the cash register, and Ruby working behind it. An amused smile appeared on her lips.

  
"I see. Is this Ruby?"

  
Christina nodded.

  
"She's very pretty," Clarissa acknowledged, however, she wasn't certain Christina had heard her, as her daughter's eyes were glued to the woman behind the counter.

  
Clarissa chuckled to herself. Christina had hearts in her eyes, and she didn't even seem to know. A moment later, however, Christina waved Ruby over, and Clarissa knew that her daughter wasn't the type to pine silently from a corner of the room. Her little cub always got what she wanted.

  
Ruby walked over with a slight frown. Christina was seating at a table beside a small black woman. The thought made her heart pinch in her chest. Sure she and Christina weren't dating, they'd made that clear, but she couldn't believe the blonde would bring a date here when she very clearly knew Ruby was working.

  
"Christina," she saluted her courtly.

  
Still, Christina didn't seem to notice, all smiles as she was. It made Ruby's heart melt a bit, and she hated that she couldn't seem to muster any anger toward the blonde.

  
"Ruby, this is my mother, Clarissa."

  
Ruby blinked and looked at Clarissa curiously. Her mother. Christina's mother. She was going to say that they looked nothing alike, but that wasn't true. There was something in the eyebrows, the gentle light in her eyes, her jawline and chin that could only belong to someone related to Christina. The woman smiled and held out a hand:

  
"It's a pleasure to meet you. Christina has told me a lot about you."

  
"She's lying," Christina said quickly.

  
"Likewise," Ruby said with a smile of her own, shaking Clarissa's hand.

  
"Christina told me you're the one who pushed her to come and see me."

  
"Let's say I tried to motivate her so she would stop mopping around the bar."

  
Christina glared at her for betraying their secret, even if they'd never really established it was one. Clarissa looked at her daughter with a shake of the head, then back at Ruby.

  
"Well, in any case, I wanted to thank you."

  
"It's no problem, really. What can I get you?"

  
Christina took her usual and her mother half a pint of beer, and Ruby went to get their orders.

  
"She seems really nice," Clarissa said.

  
"She is," Christina said. "She likes to boss me around, and I do like a demanding woman."

  
Clarissa rolled her eyes.

  
"So why don't you ask her out?"

  
"It's... complicated."

  
Clarissa decided to drop the subject when Ruby returned, placing their glasses in front of them.

  
"Call if you need anything."

  
"We'll do, thank you."

  
Christina's eyes followed Ruby as she walked through the room. Clarissa let out an exasperated sigh.

  
"Well, anyway," she said, trying to bring her daughter back to Earth. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

  
Christina took a sip of whiskey and frowned. She could see the request coming from a mile away.

  
"I don't do Thanksgiving."

  
"So you're free to come then?"

  
Christina sighed, visibly uncertain.

  
"I don't know, I mean... Is Thanksgiving the best time to introduce me to your family?"

  
Clarissa took her daughter's hand in hers.

  
"You're my family too. And I want you there. Devon is very excited to meet you."

  
Christina took another sip of alcohol.

  
"And Caleb?"

  
"He's... getting better at accepting it. For a while, he was mad at me for not telling him, but I think he understands now. Meeting you, I mean, officially meeting you might help, I think."

  
Still, Christina pursed her lips with uncertainty.

  
"I'll think about it, alright?"

  
Clarissa smiled at her.

  
"That's all I need."

* * *

Fifteen minutes before they had to be at the restaurant, they brought their glasses back to Ruby and Christina pulled a bill out of her pocket to pay.

  
"Will my lady need a coach to her castle tonight?" Christina joked as she handed the bill to Ruby.

  
She didn't even need to tell her to keep the change anymore, as Ruby placed it all in the tip jar instinctively.

  
"Aren't you driving your mother home?"

  
"She'll be home by ten, don't worry."

  
Beside them, Clarissa listened with a certain amusement. She missed the silliness of young love sometimes.

  
"Well, perhaps I could use a ride home."

"I'll be here, just in case."

Christina was about to leave when Clarissa asked:

  
"Ruby, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

  
"Oh, I don't know. I'll probably be alone anyway."

  
"Why don't you come with Christina, then? Maybe if she has some moral support to get through the day she'll come. And since it's in part thanks to you that I have her back, I'd be honored if you joined us."

  
Ruby was speechless for a moment. She looked at Christina, and the blonde slowly, discreetly shook her head. Then, Ruby turned to Clarissa.

  
"Thank you, it's very kind of you. Let me know if I need to bring anything."

* * *

"You have to go."

  
They were cuddling in Christina's bed, the blonde wrapped around Ruby like another layer of blanket.

  
"No one wants me at their Thanksgiving dinner, trust me."

  
"Your mother does," Ruby pointed out.

  
"She's making a mistake."

  
Ruby shifted in her arms until she was facing the blonde.

  
"Well, I'm going, so if you don't want me telling all your little secrets to your mother, you have to come with me."

  
Christina's fingers gently caressed Ruby's cheek before slipping down on her shoulder, then her arm. She was relishing in the feeling of soft warm skin.

  
"You're blackmailing me? And they wonder why I don't do relationships."

  
Ruby sighed with exasperation.

  
"Your mother will be so happy when you come. Think about it."

  
Christina groaned. She rolled away to lay on her back. Ruby shifted until she was slotted against her side, her head resting against a bony shoulder, her hand pressed gently over Christina's heart.

  
"It's probably going to be the worst day of my life."

  
"What's the best day of your life?" Ruby asked tiredly. She could feel her eyes burning with fatigue, and she knew she would fall asleep soon.

  
"The day my father died. It is probably the happiest day of my life. I had to leave his bedroom and hide because I just wanted to laugh and laugh."

  
Ruby mumbled something against her chest.

  
"What?"

  
"I said 'How about the day you found your mom again?'"

  
Christina fell silent. She was still uncertain about that day. She had been so worried and tense that it didn't feel like a happy day. It felt like a strange, confusing day for everyone involved. She was happy to have her mother back, but to say that the day she got her again was the happiest day of her life wasn't exactly true.

  
"What's the best day of your life?" she asked, looking down at Ruby.

  
Ruby had already fallen asleep, all signs of stress leaving her body. She looked impossibly calmed and relaxed. Christina smiled and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, before closing her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! In my original outline, this was supposed to be the Thanksgiving chapter, but there was just so much to set up for it that instead, Thanksgiving is tomorrow's chapter!  
> I guess I have nothing else to say today, except that it's snowing outside which almost never happens here! Granted it's just a light flurry and it's not going to stick but it's snowing! So I guess I'll see you tomorrow for the next chapter!


	8. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving

They arrived bearing sweet potato pie and an expensive bottle of wine. Christina rang as Ruby's hands were otherwise occupied. A man came to open. Taller than Christina, bold, with big brown eyes and a welcoming smile. He reminded Christina of Atticus somewhat. They had the same dark skin tone, the same broad shoulders, and the same fashion sense, as he wore a shirt and an old tie.

  
Before Christina could even extend her hand, he pulled her in a crushing hug. Christina froze in his arms. She must have looked rather irritated, as beside her Ruby had to hold in a snicker. When he finally let her go, he said:

  
"Christina, it's so good to finally meet you. I'm Devon."

  
Christina cleared her throat as she straightened her coat.

  
"I brought wine."

  
"Thank you," he said, taking the bottle and looking at the label. "Please, come on in."

  
Christina stepped past him quickly. The smell of roasting turkey led her to the kitchen. Behind her, Ruby was making introductions with Devon. Christina found her mother in the kitchen, making gravy. Clarissa turned around and smiled brightly at her daughter.

  
"Happy Thanksgiving!"

  
She moved to pull Christina in a hug and press a kiss on her cheek. Christina minded a little less. She could still feel eyes on her and had no doubt Caleb was hidden in a corner somewhere, watching her arrival unfold.

  
"You weren't kidding when you said Devon was excited to meet me."

  
"He has four sisters and he's always wanted a daughter," Clarissa whispered to her before returning to the gravy.

  
Christina held in a sigh. Well, that explained it. And she who had finally managed to get rid of her father, now she was stuck with another one. A moment later, Devon escorted Ruby into the kitchen.

  
"They brought wine and sweet potato pie!" he said excitedly.

  
"That's very nice. Hello, Ruby, happy Thanksgiving!"

  
"Happy Thanksgiving!" Ruby replied as she set her pie on the kitchen isle.

  
"Here, Christina, let me take your coat."

  
Christina blinked, surprised to hear Devon talking to her again. She silently took off her coat and scarf and handed them to him. He went to place them on the coat hanger, and he called out:

  
"Caleb, your sister is here."

  
Christina winced. The casualty with which Devon had accepted her in his family was exactly the reason why she didn't want to come. Loud footsteps echoed down the cricking stairs, and Caleb appeared in the kitchen. He walked by silently, stole a handful of peanuts from a bowl, and went into the living room, giving Christina a pointed look. Behind them, Clarissa sighed.

  
"He promised not to make a scene."

  
"It'll be fine," Devon assured as he pressed a kiss on his wife's cheek.

  
Christina looked away, feeling like an intruder more than ever. She walked into the living room just as Ruby asked if she could help with anything. Caleb was slouched in one of the armchairs, staring at her warily. Christina sat down in the other armchair, staring back at Caleb.

  
"So you're, like, my sister?" Caleb eventually asked.

  
"I guess I am."

  
"Then why are you white?"

  
"Genetics."

  
"Like a mutation? Like the X-men?"

  
Thanks to Atticus, Christina knew enough about comics to understand what he meant.

  
"Sure."

  
"What's your superpower, then?"

  
"I'm rich."

  
Caleb pushed himself up slightly, showing some interest in their conversation.

  
"How rich are you? Mom wouldn't tell me. Are you, like, richer than Batman?"

  
"Definitely."

  
"Where do you live?"

  
"In Hyde Park."

  
"So not in a mansion, then?"

  
"I have a mansion, but not here."

  
"How many houses do you have?"

  
Before Christina could answer, Clarissa walked in, carrying a bowl of peanuts and a plate of crudites.

  
"Caleb, what did I say about asking too many questions?"

  
"It's not too many! I just want to know how many houses she has!"

  
Clarissa shook her head in exasperation and said to Christina:

  
"You don't have to answer that."

  
Christina said nothing but discreetly raised four fingers for Caleb to see. The teenager gasped, eyes wide. Clarissa returned to the kitchen and once he thought his mother was out of earshot he asked:

  
"What do you need so many houses for?"

  
"I don't really, they just belonged to my father."

  
A moment later, Ruby walked in.

  
"Christina, your mother needs help."

  
Christina stood up, not sure why her mother would count on her to help with anything food-related. When she looked back at Caleb, he was staring at Ruby, a deep blush having taken over his cheeks. Christina smirked. Interesting. At least the kid had good taste in women.

* * *

They sat around the table and Devon said grace. Christina waited politely as Devon, Clarissa and Ruby closed their eyes and prayed. When she looked up from her empty plate, she found Caleb staring back at her. He too looked just about ready to eat unblessed food. Finally, Devon finished and grabbed the plate of turkey, offering it to Ruby, and Clarissa's children let out a sigh of relief.

  
Christina had barely gotten a bite in that already Devon was questioning her:

  
"Clarissa said you're a Ph. D. student."

  
"Technically, yes, but the past few months have been rather busy."

  
Burying her father, finding her mother again, that sort of thing that might keep someone away from a lab or books.

  
"What's your field of study?"

  
"Mathematical biology."

  
Devon reached for the wine bottle on the table and uncorked it with a smile.

  
"A scientist? What are you working on for your thesis?"

  
He filled Ruby'swine glass before she could decline, then moved to serve Christina. The blonde took a bite of roasted potato then grabbed her glass and replied:

  
"Mostly autopoiesis and evolutionary biology."

  
"That sounds interesting," Devon replied as he filled his wife's glass.

  
Clarissa gave him a look.

  
"What? It does sound interesting."

  
"Yes, well, a majority of this table doesn't have a Ph. D, so if you could keep the conversation to a comprehensive level."

  
Devon chuckled and took a sip of wine. Caleb was eating quickly and silently, glancing from time to time to Ruby, as if to check if the woman was giving him any thoughts. The movement of his eyes didn't go unnoticed by Christina, who smirked with amusement. She thought it might be worth taking the time to warn the kid that Ruby was too good for him, or anyone on this planet, herself included.

  
"What do you do for a living, Ruby?" Devon asked.

  
Ruby swallowed her mouthful of turkey, then replied:

  
"I'm a bartender, mostly."

  
"Mostly?"

  
"Well, I also used to perform but it's been a while since I've had a gig."

  
Christina almost spat her wine in surprise. How had she not heard about this before?

  
"Wait, you sing?"

  
"Sing and play guitar."

  
"That's cool," Devon said. "I used to play the saxophone in a jazz band when I was in college. I haven't played in a while."

  
"That's cause he sounds like a duck when he plays," Caleb said.

  
Ruby laughed gently and the boy blushed.

  
"What do you want to do when you're older, Caleb?" Ruby asked.

  
Caleb looked down at his almost empty plate and gave a timid shrug.

  
"He could certainly be a doctor if he wanted to," Devon said proudly. "He's a scientist too. The best member of the school's science club."

  
"He'll be whatever he decides to be," Clarissa added.

  
Christina finished her glass of wine. Instead of filling it up again, she reached for Ruby's, earning her an eye roll from her friend – lover – and a strange look from her mother.

  
"Christina..."

  
"It's fine," Ruby assured quickly.

  
Christina took a sip of wine then said:

  
"Ruby's not a wine person, she's giving me her share of the bottle."

  
"Can I have some wine too?" Caleb asked.

  
"Not if you want to be as tall as your old man," Devon said jokingly, pouring water in his son's glass instead.

  
Caleb grumbled but didn't insist. Christina hoped this would be the end of the conversation, but unfortunately, Devon seemed to have prepared a long list of questions for her, and he was only on the second bullet point.

  
"What are you going to do once you get your Ph. D?"

  
Christina finished her second glass of wine and placed it back in front of Ruby before she replied:

  
"I'm not certain yet. I'm sure my father would have appreciated I take over the company, but I'm not interested in it at all. I'd rather sit back and rip the benefice."

  
"So you're not interested in research work either?"

  
"I'm interested in learning," Christina replied quickly and Ruby could tell from the slight edge in her voice that she was getting aggravated by Devon's questions. "The potential for discovery is interesting. The origin of life in a test tube and what I might be able to do with it? Yes, it's all very interesting. But I'm not certain I have the patience to suffer through bureaucracy and rules and guidelines that might stand in the way of progress."

  
"You're a straight-up mad scientist," Caleb said.

  
His parents glared at him, but Christina smiled.

  
"Exactly."

* * *

Clarissa was in the kitchen, getting the various desserts out of the fridge and on the kitchen isle. Ruby brought the plates to the kitchen and left them beside the empty dishes near the sink. Devon had gone to the icebox in the garage to find ice cream, while Christina was listening to Caleb prattle on about the experiment he and his friends had put on for the science fair the previous year.

  
"I'm relieved they seem to be getting along," Clarissa said, her eyes on her two children through the doorway. "Caleb has really been on the fence since we told him."

  
"To be honest, Christina wasn't too thrill about having a brother either," Ruby confessed.

  
"I can imagine."

  
Devon returned shortly after, five tubs of ice cream stacked in his hands.

  
"I wasn't certain who would want what so I brought them all."

  
Before Clarissa could tell him that they only needed vanilla to go with the pie, Devon continued to the dining room.

  
"Can I interest someone in caramel pecan vanilla? It goes very well with apple pie."

  
Clarissa chuckled as she began pulling dessert plates from the cupboard.

  
"Children, if you want dessert you're going to have to come and help your poor old mother."

  
Caleb was quick to make his way into the kitchen, however, it seemed it had taken a second for Christina's brain to register that her mother had meant her too. She came into the kitchen a moment later.

  
"Here, Little Cub, take the plates."

  
Christina reached for the pile of plates, then realized what her mother had called her. Behind her, Ruby and Caleb snickered. She rolled her eyes.

  
"Like you never had a dumb nickname."

  
"It's not dumb, it's cute," Ruby said, though she was still laughing.

  
"Does Caleb have a nickname like that?"

  
"Of course he does."

  
Caleb stopped laughing instantly and looked at his mother sharply.

  
"Mom," he hissed.

  
Still, it wasn't enough to stop Clarissa.

  
"I call him Puppy because when he was a baby he used to loll his tongue out of his mouth all the time."

  
Embarrassed beyond belief, Caleb picked up one of the pies from the table and walked to the dining room, ignoring Christina's mocking laughter.

* * *

They left in the evening with enough leftovers for a week, and Christina drove Ruby home.

  
"It wasn't that difficult, now, was it?" Ruby said as she watched the cars go by through the windshield.

  
"It was alright. But Devon needs to calm down. I'm a bit old to be seeking a father figure to replace my dead father."

  
"I don't think you're ever too old to be seeking father figures."

  
"Do you have a father figure to replace your dad?"

  
"Kinda. Although I think Sammy's more like an uncle. He's chased off enough unwanted attention I've received over the years to be like family, though."

  
Christina hummed, her eyes on the road.

  
"But you got along fine with Caleb, that's good."

  
Christina smirked at the thought of the teenager blushing at every cent of attention Ruby gave him.

  
"He's smitten with you, poor thing."

  
"At least he has good taste in women," Ruby replied with amusement.

  
Christina smiled and squeezed Ruby's knee gently.

  
"Wherever you go, you have Clarissa's children wrapped around your little finger."

  
"He's definitely too young for me," Ruby said, shaking her head.

  
They parked in front of Ruby's building and Christina helped her carry all the leftovers to her apartment. Ruby unlocked the door and Christina realized she'd never been inside Ruby's apartment. They'd always gone back to hers in the evenings they spent together. If she had, she would have probably learned of Ruby's passion for music much earlier. There was a guitar on a stand in a corner of the living room. An old record player sat between a framed picture of Ruby and her siblings and a blooming cactus. Where Christina's home had shelves of books, Ruby's had shelves of records, some old in faded sleeves and others looking rather new.

  
"There should be enough space for everything," Ruby said as she opened the fridge.

  
Just then, the phone began to ring.

  
"Can you take care of it?"

  
"Yeah, go answer."

  
Christina stacked all the plastic containers and aluminum wrapped slices of pie in Ruby's fridge as Ruby went to pick up the phone. Just as she had imagined, it was Leti.

  
" _Happy Thanksgiving!_ " Leti said when Ruby picked up.

  
"Glad you remembered. Happy Thanksgiving."

  
" _Sorry I couldn't be here today. I miss your sweet potato pie._ "

  
"Well, you'll have to wait next Thanksgiving for one."

  
" _Is Marvin with you?_ "

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"No, he's not."

  
Leti gasped.

  
" _Wait, you were alone?_ "

  
"No, the mother of a friend invited me over."

  
" _Who?_ "

  
"You don't know her."

  
As if summoned, Christina moved behind Ruby, kissing teasingly her neck.

  
" _So you had a nice time?_ " Leti asked.

  
Ruby struggled to answer as Christina shifted her hands from her waist to her breasts, massaging them through Ruby's dress and making her breath hitch.

  
" _Ruby?_ "

  
"I have to go."

  
Ruby quickly hung up as Christina's thumbs brushed over her nipples, and her lips sucked the skin of her neck hungrily.

  
"You're an absolute devil."

  
"I just realized we haven't tried your bed yet," the blonde said with a scorching voice.

  
"What are we waiting for then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Today's chapter was a bit longer because yesterday's was a bit shorter than usual. Perfectly balanced, as all chapters should be.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Tomorrow is going to be a lot more angsty so get ready...


	9. The End of Simplicity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February begins with a kick

They weren't in a relationship. Christina came to pick Ruby up after work. She took her out for dinner. They shared a bed most nights, but not because they were in a relationship. They spent time together because they enjoyed each other's company. Not because they were dating.

  
They spent Christmas Eve at Christina's place, the blonde having even made an effort to decorate her house a little for the occasion. On Christmas, they went together to see Christina's family. Caleb had received a strategy tabletop game and the siblings spent the afternoon trying to outwit each other, without noticing that their mother was winning the entire time.

  
For New Year's Eve, Ruby was working at the bar. Christina spent the evening there, nursing her drink in a corner. A few short minutes before 1995, Christina dragged Ruby to the bathroom and teased her until the first firecrackers exploded in the streets outside, indicating 1994 was over. Then, she finally let her come with a proud smile.

  
Christina had to go to see her family alone for New Year as Marvin had finally seen fit to drive to Chicago to see his sister. Even if he had only been there for a few hours, Ruby wouldn't lie in saying they had a good time. However, she still hadn't told him the truth, even if he gave her a strange look when she refused a beer.

  
February began with a literal kick. As in Christina was woken up when she felt something kick under her hand. She heard Ruby grumble against her. They were spooning like they always did, Christina's hand on Ruby's belly. And something was kicking beneath her palm.

  
"Did you feel that?" Ruby asked with as much excitement as she could muster minutes after waking up.

  
"Felt what?"

  
"The kick."

  
"Oh, that's what it was."

  
Christina would have gone back to sleep but Ruby slivered out of her grasp and she groaned. Ruby sat up against the headrest and searched for the kicked spot with her hands until she felt it. Beside her, Christina watched her do. Though she wanted to ignore the excitement rising in her chest, it was there.

  
"Here."

  
Ruby took Christina's hand in hers and placed it on the spot where the baby kept kicking. In the past month and a half or so, Ruby had begun to show, her soft belly turning harder, like a protective shell around the small being she carried. It was an undeniable reminder of Ruby's pregnancy, and absolutely not a turn-off like Christina had thought it might become.

  
"Do you feel it?"

  
She felt it alright. Small, rhythmic kicks against her palm.

  
"It's cool," Christina conceded. "I'd be even more impressed if it'd turned out to be Morse code, though."

  
Ruby slapped her arm.

  
"You're insufferable."

  
"I know."

  
Christina glanced at the alarm clock. She could use another two hours of sleep. She settled back against her pillow.

  
"Come here," she said, trying to pull Ruby back to her.

  
"No, it's alright, I have to go to the bathroom."

  
Ruby got out of bed. Christina huffed, displeased to have been refused, and shut her eyes, trying to ignore the small worm of rejection that began to eat away at her heart.

* * *

" _Hello?_ "

  
Christina hadn't thought. She'd heard the phone ringing while Ruby was in the shower. She'd picked up. She'd forgotten that she was at Ruby's home. The confused voice on the other side could only belong to Ruby's sister, Leti.

  
" _Ruby?_ "

  
"Sorry, she's in the shower. Call back later."

  
Christina hung up without hearing Leti's answer. By the time Ruby stepped out and joined her for breakfast, she'd even completely forgotten about the phone call. She left to go home and forgot to tell Ruby. However, when Leti called back, she had not forgotten.

  
"Hello?"

  
" _Who was that earlier?_ " Leti asked instantly.

  
Ruby frowned, an anxious ball forming in her stomach.

  
"Who?"

  
" _Don't play dumb with me. I called, like, an hour ago, and this other woman picked up._ "

  
Ruby bit her lower lip. This was a crossroad, she thought. Tell Leti or don't tell her. Maybe not tell her about everything. One thing at a time.

  
"Oh, you mean Christina. We've just been seeing each other a couple of times."

  
" _She's your new girlfriend then?_ "

  
"No, we're not dating. It's just casual."

  
" _Casual? And how long have you two been casual?_ "

  
Ruby stopped herself from answering. Three months or so. Her silence was answer enough for Leti. Her sister's sigh came all the way from Taiwan.

  
" _You always do that. You say it's casual when it's not, or you let them tie you up in a relationship when they're just using you. Is she using you?_ "

  
"No!"

  
" _Are you sure?_ "

  
"Leti! She's not using me for anything. But..."

  
Ruby sighed. To tell her or not to tell her.

  
"Things are complicated, they've been for a couple of months now."

  
" _After that guy used you to cheat on his wife I would have thought you would have given more thoughts before jumping into another relationship._ "

  
Thank you for pouring salt on the wound, Ruby thought.

  
"You're one to talk," Ruby said. "You're halfway across the world, you don't get to say anything about who I go out with."

  
" _Alright, alright! But be careful, please. I don't want to have to pick you up over the phone again like last time. And if she's really that good for you, she would ask you out already, not keep things casual._ "

  
It's complicated, Ruby wanted to say, but she kept her mouth shut.

  
"Why did you call?" Ruby asked. "Please tell me it's not for more money."

  
" _No, money's fine. I just sold a bunch of pictures from Honk Kong last week, it's fine. I just wanted to let you know I'm off to South Korea in a few days. I'll call you when I get there, alright?_ "

  
"Sure. Have fun."

  
" _You too, bye._ "

  
Ruby placed the phone down and sighed. She fell on her couch and fought the urge to cry. It was those stupid hormones again, she knew, but she couldn't quite get what Leti had said out of her mind. She might like to pretend that what she and Christina had was casual, but the truth was, it was anything but. Not anymore. Not when they spent most nights together. It wasn't just casual hookups anymore, it was evening cuddling on the couch and going out for brunch in the morning. And if things were easy she would just ask her out, but they weren't.

  
She nervously began rubbing her belly. Christina had made it very clear multiple times that she wasn't interested in having children. She was a devoted partner and seemed to worship the ground Ruby walked on, and while she would never admit it, Ruby even found Christina's exasperating way endearing. But what would happen in May, once her baby was born? She would have to devote all of her time to the baby. Would Christina walk away from her then, or would she stay? Ruby couldn't imagine she would stay. She had no reason to.

  
She brushed tears running down her cheeks and took a deep breath. She was going to end this now, on her own terms, before she let another blonde break her heart.

* * *

Christina was surprised to hear knocking at her door. She was even more surprised to see Ruby on the other side. She smiled, still, happy to see the other woman.

  
"Hey, I didn't know you were coming over."

  
She let her in and tried to kiss Ruby, but Ruby moved her head at the last moment, and her lips landed on her cheek instead. Instantly, a cold feeling filled Christina's lungs. She could feel something was oddly wrong.

  
"We need to talk," Ruby said seriously.

  
Christina's smile vanished, and she nodded. She led them to the living room. Ruby sat down and sighed.

  
"What is going to happen on May 10th?" Ruby asked.

  
Christina frowned, uncertain what Ruby meant.

  
"My baby is due May 10th," Ruby reminded her. "And I'm sure I've told you a thousand times already. But you don't care about my baby, because you don't care about children. You've told me so many times. I just thought... I don't know what I thought. This thing between us? It's not casual, not anymore, I'm not even sure it ever was."

  
In the armchair across from her, Christina wasn't certain she knew what Ruby was trying to say. Or rather, she had a dreaded feeling she knew, and she didn't want to hear her say it.

  
"What are you saying?"

  
"You don't want children or a relationship. But in three months I'll be a mother, and I can't be running around with you. And I don't expect you to change your mind. You don't want kids, and I don't hang onto some hopes that you'll mysteriously want this one. Our futures are not compatible. We can't continue to pretend we're keeping things casual while spending most nights together."

  
"I don't understand..."

  
I don't want to understand, Christina had meant to say. Ruby sighed sadly.

  
"We have to stop. There is no future where this, us, is ever going to work, do you understand? And we knew it from the start, we just tried to fool ourselves into thinking we didn't."

  
Christina was stunned silent for the second time in her life. She was at a complete loss for words, with absolutely no idea what she was supposed to say. They weren't dating, so they couldn't be breaking up. But if they weren't breaking up, then why did it feel like Ruby had just ripped her heart clean out of her chest?

  
Ruby brushed tears out of her eyes and stood up. She brushed past the blonde. Christina tried to get a hold of her hand, but Ruby seemed to slip out of her grasp, her skin too soft for Christina to get a hold of her. She heard Ruby's footsteps receding to the door. Say something, she admonished herself. Say something. Keep her from leaving. Get up. Kiss her. Tell her you love her. Tell her this isn't over. You won't let it be over.

  
The front door shut gently. Christina's soul shattered. A single tear fell from her cheek and on her hand. Christina stared at it. Another joined soon enough, and another. After that, Christina's eyes grew too blurry for her to see anything. She chocked in a sob with her hand, tried to keep it in her lungs. If it didn't fall past her lips, it wasn't real, and her sorrow wasn't real. Another sob racked her body and she had to block it with both hands. She held in another two, before she couldn't and had to let them all out with a howl.

* * *

There was no falling asleep. Christina had tried for hours on end, tossing and turning in her bed. Her empty bed. She'd changed the sheets and it still smelled like Ruby, somehow. She'd moved to the couch, then, or tried, but laying where she'd sat, hours ago, was too painful. Eventually, she got dressed, at two in the morning, and drove out. She couldn't stand to be in her house another second.

  
She drove mindlessly, and let her hands take her somewhere. Unfortunately, her hands were linked to her brain, and her brain to her heart and her heart took her to Ruby's apartment building. If I beg her to come back, maybe she will. Christina pulled a cigarette from her glove box and lit it up, taking a long, grateful huff.

  
She stayed there for a good hour, thinking. She didn't want children. She wanted Ruby. These things shouldn't have been incompatible. But they were now. Because Ruby was having a baby. And Christina knew it from the start. She'd just been particularly good at luring herself into thinking she didn't. Ruby had been dead right about everything.

  
When she thought she'd thought enough, she drove off. She wished she'd kept more than one emergency cigarette in her glove box. She didn't stop to buy any, however. Instead, she continued to drive as the sun pierced the veil of the night. Pale blue and gentle pink soon overtook the sky. Christina drove on. She must have gone three times around Chicago at this point. She kept all the windows down because it was impossible to breathe otherwise.

  
When she finally parked, it wasn't in front of her home. It was in front of a family house with stone steps leading to a navy blue door. The gate upfront was closed, so she hopped over, like a teenager sneaking home after a party she wasn't supposed to go to. It was just past six a. m. and she rang at the door. She waited a moment, unbothered by the cold February air. Eventually, her mother came to open, freshly dressed for work.

  
"Christina? What are you doing here?"

  
Tears bubbled in her eyes before words could form on her tongue. She pulled her mother in a hug, burying her face in her hair. Clarissa hugged her back and pulled her inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> So there is such a thing as pregnancy brain that makes you do things that seem like a good idea at the time but prove not to be afterward... That being said, I always saw these two as being on a crash course for an inevitable break-up. And before you get mad at me (which you totally can, I feel like an evil mastermind breaking them apart) just remember that this story is tagged "Angst with a Happy Ending"  
> Anyway, I'll hopefully see you guys tomorrow for the next chapter!


	10. The Climb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christina explains everything to her mother

Clarissa gave a mug of coffee to her daughter. They didn't settle on the couch. They didn't have the time. Christina began talking the instant she was handed the beverage.

  
"She's pregnant. It's not mine."

  
Clarissa couldn't help but scoff.

  
"I would have had a hundred more questions if it were."

  
A small, sad smile bloomed on Christina's lips. She took a sip of coffee, burning her tongue and palate.

  
"I knew it from the start. That's how we met. The father lived where I live now. I knew it from the beginning, but it was easy to ignore, in the beginning. When it didn't show, you know? She said she didn't want to be in a relationship and neither did I. It was supposed to be easy. Casual."

  
Christina took another sip.

  
"But Ruby's right. It was always going to blow up in our faces eventually."

  
Clarissa reached for Christina's empty hand.

  
"Maybe it's not too late."

  
Christina shook her head, taking a big gulp of coffee and letting it burn down her throat.

  
"It is. I have explicitly told her multiple times that I didn't want kids. I don't even know why I thought..."

  
Christina stopped herself. She thought they would work out, but that made no sense. Casual hookups don't work, the push and pull each other for a time, and disappear from each other's life completely. Partners work, relationships work or they don't.

  
"It does complicate things a lot," Clarissa admitted. "Children have a knack for making things harder than they need to be."

  
"You don't say."

  
Christina sighed.

  
"I've been dumped before. It felt like a relief. This isn't a relief, it's..."

  
"Agony?" Clarissa suggested.

  
Christina could only nod.

  
"What are you going to do about it?" her mother asked.

  
"What is there to do about it? If she doesn't want me, there is nothing I can do."

  
"But do you want her?"

  
"With every cell in my body."

  
"My little cub always got what she wanted. Always. If it was a cookie on a high shelf, she found a way to climb to that high shelf and get it. If it was a random book in her father's office, she found a way to sneak inside and steal it. If you want that girl, you know what to do about it."

  
"There's is nothing to be done!"

  
Christina's voice broke into a sob on the last syllable, and Clarissa moved around the isle to pull her daughter into a hug.

  
"She's going to have a baby and I can't... I can't take care of a kid. I don't know how. I would only mess it up. I don't know how to..."

  
Clarissa rubbed her daughter's back, shushing her gently.

  
"I understand. And I know it's my fault. If only I'd managed to get you away from your father, things would have been much different for you."

  
"It's not your fault. It's his. Always has been, always will be."

  
Christina's breathing calmed. She moved away from her mother, but Clarissa brushed the tears out of her eyes.

  
"Can you do something for me?" Clarissa asked. "Just a small mental exercise."

  
Christina sighed but nodded.

  
"Fine."

  
"Close your eyes."

  
Christina did as she was told, feeling her mother's hands holding hers.

  
"When you think about Ruby, can you imagine a future with her?"

  
A future with Ruby? It was so complicated now, Christina thought. But she could, faintly. She could imagine lazy mornings in bed and late nights in bed. Evenings at the restaurant, just the two of them. Things they'd already done together. She could see them walking hand in hand in the park, or on the beach. The mental images brought pain in her chest sharper than a dagger's blade.

  
"Can you imagine it?"

  
She nodded tentatively, afraid any movement would shake the image away.

  
"Now, can you imagine the same thing, but with a child?"

  
It was difficult, at first. Her mind couldn't conjure anything up. But eventually, it did. And those walks on the beach turned into family vacations, with a little girl running up and down the sand, water splashing at her feet. A little girl like a miniature version of Ruby, all of Ruby and nothing of Christina, happy. She let the image wash away quickly and reopened her eyes. Her mother was still standing in front of her, waiting for the result.

  
"Just because I can imagine it doesn't mean it can happen," Christina said, letting go of her mother's hands to reach for the coffee again. "Having a child isn't just the happy moments, and just because I don't want one doesn't mean I don't know it. One wrong step, one wrong move or word, and that child is ruined or traumatized for life. Father was a great example of that."

  
Clarissa sighed.

  
"It's true. No one is always ever exactly ready for children. I certainly wasn't ready for you."

  
Christina turned to look at her mother.

  
"I was very anxious during most of my pregnancy with you," Clarissa admitted. "And then you were born and I was even more anxious. And while my pregnancy with Caleb was a lot less nerve-racking, I started having nightmares after he was born that someone was going to take him away from me too. It lasted until he was four."

  
Christina listened as her mother went on.

  
"Devon was very excited the whole time. I wasn't even showing that he was already talking to Caleb. But your father... He never really took to you. I suppose you could have guessed. Even before he knew you were a girl. I don't know what he was waiting for. He kept telling me 'It'll come eventually. I will look at him and I will feel it all'."

  
"I guess he never felt it."

  
Clarissa sighed.

  
"I'm sorry."

  
Christina finished her coffee.

  
"And for you?" she asked. "When did you start loving me?"

  
"A day after you were born."

  
Christina was stunned by the answer.

  
"It was the middle of the night and you were hungry. I picked you up to feed you and you instantly stopped crying and looked at me. And you smiled. That's when I knew I would do absolutely anything for you."

* * *

With much food for thought to chew on and nowhere to spit it out, Christina did what she did best. She read. She bought every interesting book on pregnancy she could find, and read through them day-in-day-out. She powered through with caffeine, fell asleep a few times while trying to read about the psychology of babies, and picked it back up in the morning. By the time she was done, she'd read a dozen different manuals, and she somehow felt more competent and more terrified than she ever had before. Armed with this new knowledge, she drove to Ruby's apartment.

  
She caught Ruby as she was walking toward the train station, and doubled-parked her car. She almost jumped out of her seat and ran on the sidewalk.

  
"Ruby!"

  
Ruby stopped her feet at the edge of the stairs. She turned around. Christina was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at her as if she'd just discovered a star. Ruby was tired, she'd had a terrible couple of nights and the baby was growing restless and seemed to like to kick quite a lot.

  
"What are you doing here?"

  
Christina crossed the distance between them quickly. For a second, Ruby feared she was going to sweep her up in a kiss, like a prince charming after he saved the princess from the monster. Instead, she stopped two steps from her.

  
"You're right. We don't exactly have a future together. And taking care of kids is a big responsibility. I just read a dozen books on the subject and I still don't feel competent."  
Ruby shook her head in disbelief.

  
"So?"

  
"So I don't want to give you up like that. Let me be a part of your life. Just a small part. I'll be the cool aunt who gives your kid a tone of expensive gifts at Christmas, I don't care, just... Let me support you, right now. Because you need it."

  
Ruby sighed.

  
"We can't be together."

  
"I understand that. But give me a chance to be a part of your life still. It's all I want."

  
Ruby pursed her lips with uncertainty. Above her, she heard the train coming and going and she cursed her luck.

  
"That was my train. I'm gonna be late for my appointment."

  
"Let me take you."

  
"Christina..."

  
"Being a single mother is difficult enough, but if you have no one you can rely on to help you, it's even harder."

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"Did you read that in a book?"

  
"As a matter of fact, I did."

  
Ruby smiled and let Christina guide her to her poorly parked car. They drove off. Christina struggled to keep both hands on the wheel while Ruby gave her the instructions to her doctor's office. They parked beneath the hospital.

  
"You could have just dropped me off, you know."

  
"I'll just wait here to bring you home after," Christina said as she reached for the newspaper on the backseats.

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"Come on."

  
Christina followed Ruby to the waiting room. There were two other people in the waiting room, a couple with a very pregnant woman, probably due any day. They were taken by the other doctor, leaving Christina and Ruby alone in the waiting room. The silence between them was heavy. There were only educational and medical magazines on display, so Christina crossed her arms and waited.

  
"Is that what you've been doing for the past few days?" Ruby finally asked. "Reading books?"

  
"I didn't know what else to do. I talked to my mother. I hope you don't mind I told her about... the baby. She told me it took her a while to start loving me. Did you know that? Sometimes it's not instant love between the expecting mother and the baby. It never occurred to me that this was a thing. People are always just talking on and on about how they always loved their baby. Do you love yours already?"

  
At first, Ruby thought Christina was nervously babbling and was about to cut her off, but the question surprised her.

  
"It took me a little while, but I think I do."

  
Christina smiled at her, then she said:

  
"I don't feel any particular attachment toward your baby yet, even if it's yours. And despite all the books I'm still worried that I never might. But it gives me hope that I might change my mind. Some books say it's easier to grow attached to them once they start to develop a personality."

  
"Christina. I appreciate that you've gone through so much documentation, but that's a bit too much information for me right now."

  
"Sorry. I'll hand you a few if you want to."

  
"Sure."

  
Ruby's OB/Gyn came to get her. She stood up then turned around when she noticed Christina wasn't following.

  
"Doctor? Can my friend come with me?"

  
"Of course. This way please."

  
Christina seemed confused, but she followed Ruby inside the office. She listened attentively as the doctor asked a series of questions to Ruby. Yes, she was doing fine, although the baby had begun to keep her awake at night. Yes, she was taking her vitamins. Yes, the baby had begun kicking. When they moved to the other room for the ultrasound, Christina followed tentatively.

  
"You can sit right here," the doctor instructed, pointing to a chair beside the bed.

  
Christina nodded. Ruby pulled up her shirt, exposing her belly. When the cold gel was applied, she instinctively reached for Christina's hand. Christina held it in hers with a slight smile.

  
"Alright, here we go."

  
The doctor moved the probe over Ruby's taut skin until she found what she was looking for.

  
"We can see it very clearly here, look."

  
It hadn't occurred to Christina to look at the screen until the doctor said to do so. She didn't know what to expect. Certain not what looked like an almost fully-formed baby. None of the books she'd read could prepare her for what she was saying. The clear image of a small baby, curled up, seemingly asleep. The doctor made a few manipulations on the machine, then continued to move the probe around, looking for problems and finding none.

  
"Everything seems in order. Let's hear that heartbeat."

  
She pressed another button, and sound filled the room. The sound of something pumping underwater. The baby's heartbeat. Christina looked at Ruby in awe. Ruby was crying with joy, failing to contain her tears.

  
"You made this," Christina said, as she couldn't quite believe it.

  
She looked back at the screen and realized she was looking at the origin of all life. She was filled with a deep sense of existential dread, pulsing through her brain at the same rhythm as the tiny, hasty heartbeat. She felt Ruby's hand clenching in hers, anchoring her back to reality.

  
"Would you like to know the sex?" the doctor asked.

  
Christina really wanted to know, but she knew it wasn't her call to make. She looked at Ruby, waiting for her answer. Ruby brushed the tears out of her eyes with her free hand and nodded. The doctor made a few more manipulations, then finally announced:

  
"It's a girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! They are back together (sort of)!  
> The title of the chapter comes from The Climb by Miley Cyrus. My sister has been listening to this song probably every day for a good month and a half now, and since I'm not immune to nostalgia I fell right back into it too. It's still one of the most motivational songs ever made and no, I won't accept any criticism.  
> But anyway, keep the comments coming! I've taken some of the things you've told me you wanted to read but I knew would not be present enough in this story and I'm gonna make a one-shot sequel with it. I'm gonna start writing in a minute once this chapter is posted.  
> As usual, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you tomorrow for the next one!


	11. This 1882 House is Baby Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fall back into old habits

Christina's house became Ruby's spider web again. Not that she particularly minded, as the spider brought her food, massaged her feet, and did absolutely anything she asked her to. Anytime she needed to go anywhere, Christina would drive her without hesitation. It never felt like a cop-out either, like she'd given up her freedom for a cozier, bigger house. Simply, she was almost eight months pregnant, and she was tired, and the feeling of Christina worshiping her every move was delightful. Maybe it was a weakness to fall back into this old routine of fake casualness, but Ruby never slept better than with the blonde's arms around her and she was a pregnant woman, she needed her sleep.

  
Christina had noticed it too, how Ruby hadn't gone home in almost two full weeks. Now that Sammy had given her some maternity leaves, they were free to spend all day and night together. As much as it killed her, Christina tried to keep things friendly, limiting herself to cuddling, even if she itched to kiss Ruby and never part from her lips again. Still, it felt a lot less like agony to have her around without being able to kiss her than not to have her around at all.

  
They were on the couch. Ruby was lying over the length of the couch, a pile of pillows supporting her head. Her tired feet were resting on Christina's lap. The blonde, uninterested by the new episode of ER, was finishing to read _Frankenstein_ because all these talks about creating life had made her want to give it another read. The creator, in his last moments, had told the narrator to seek peace and happiness. His death had brought no peace to his creation, who vowed to kill himself, wretched creature as he was. Christina remembered why she didn't like the ending much and shut the hardcover book.

  
"It wasn't as good as you remembered?" Ruby asked when she saw the slight scowl on Christina's lips.

  
"It was exactly how I remembered it."

  
She glanced at the TV, trying to catch up to what was happening in the episode.

  
"Is it a pregnancy episode?" Christina asked with a frown.

  
"Yeah. It's one of those worst-case scenarios you like to worry about so much. I'm pretty sure the mother is going to die."

  
Ruby sighed and turned off the TV.

  
"I can't watch this right now."

  
Slowly, like a turtle on its back, she shifted on the couch and sat up. Now freed from Ruby's feet, Christina stood up. She held out her hand and helped Ruby up.

  
"I'm going to bed," Ruby announced.

  
"I'll be right there."

  
While Ruby slowly hobbled her way up the stairs, Christina went to her office. She knew exactly on which shelf she needed to put her book back. Then, she looked over the rest of her collection. She picked up _The Haunting of Hill House_ randomly because she knew she liked it. She turned off all the lights downstairs before climbing up.

  
Ruby was in the bathroom, getting ready for the night. Christina sat at her vanity and took off her earrings. In the glass, she saw Ruby leave the bathroom, wearing a large maternity tee-shirt as pajamas. It was the one Marvin had bought for her after she'd told him the news. He had taken the news better than she'd expected, but then again, he was always away and busy. The simple fact that he'd sent a tee-shirt with swimming ducklings on it was proof enough that he cared.

  
Ruby brushed past Christina, her hand gliding over her narrow shoulders before she moved to the bed. Christina shivered and tried to ignore the burning feeling left behind by the pad of Ruby's fingers. She took off her rings, then turned around and looked at Ruby, who was seating on the bed.

  
"I was thinking..."

  
"Now that's how I know you're about to say something dangerous."

  
Christina tried to hold in her smile and remain composed.

  
"Why don't you move in temporarily?" Christina said, going straight to the point.

  
Ruby stopped trying to slip into bed and looked at Christina curiously.

  
"Are you serious?"

  
"Just temporarily. You said you wanted to find a bigger place for you and the miracle, right?"

  
Ruby rolled her eyes at the nickname. Never mind the fact that thousands of babies were born daily, Christina called her baby 'the miracle' like it was the World's Savior, the only baby that would ever be born.

  
"You barely go back to your apartment anymore. I have so many spare rooms that I don't use. I can easily turn one into a temporary nursery. That way you can save your money on rent for a few months until you find a bigger place."

  
Ruby crossed her arms.

  
"You know what happens after a baby is born, right? They cry a lot at night. If I stay here neither of us is going to get a lot of sleep."

  
"I know, but I don't mind."

  
Ruby looked up and down at Christina and the determination in her eyes.

  
"Alright, if you think you can handle a screaming baby for a few months, I guess I'll move out of my apartment."

  
The corner of Christina's lips tugged into a smile, and she stood up and shed her clothes. Once she'd changed into her pajamas, she settled in bed with her book. Beside her, Ruby shifted under the cover until she was laying in a comfortable position for herself and the baby. Her head rested against Christina's thigh.

  
"Read to me?" she asked as she closed her eyes.

  
"It's not a fairy tale."

  
"I don't care, just read it to me."

  
Christina smiled. Her fingers threaded through Ruby's hair, combing through them gently as she held the book open with one hand and read:

  
"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within..."

* * *

Sammy was helping Ruby pack. Christina had offered to help as well but she had another task to do with Atticus. Her cousin arrived in the early hours of the afternoon to find a mess of boxes. He placed his toolbox on the ground and surveyed the scene of the chaos. Christina was running around the house, baby-proofing every corner of every ancient piece of furniture which looked just a bit too sharp for her taste.

  
"There's a baby-gate up the stairs, can you take care of it?" Christina asked as soon as she spotted him.

  
Atticus sighed but picked up his toolbox.

  
"Isn't Ruby supposed to find a new place before her baby can even learn how to walk?"

  
Christina glared at her cousin.

  
"You never know."

  
"Yeah, you never know," Tic replied mockingly.

  
Fitting a modern plastic baby-gate on ancient stairs was more complicated than Atticus ever thought it would be. Fortunately, he was at his best with a screwdriver in hand, and in the time it took for Christina to take care of downstairs, he was done. As he expected, Christina went to check his work, looking at the gate from every angle, testing it a few times just to make sure, then propping it open because it was just a hindrance at this point.

  
"We can take care of the nursery now."

  
Atticus sighed but followed his cousin to one of the upstairs bedrooms. Light blue wallpaper covered the walls. Furniture boxes took up most of the room.

  
"Does a baby really need all that?" Atticus asked as he picked up the instructions to build the crib.

  
"Until you have a kid of your own, you don't get to say a word. Ruby wanted all of this so I got it for her."

  
Tic rolled his eyes. Christina was so smitten with Ruby even he could see it. He wondered how oblivious the blonde really was.

  
"You can take care of the crib, I'll build the wardrobe."

  
They worked in silent companionship, passing tools from one hand to the other, exchanging a few words when necessary. Atticus wisely avoided any subject that might aggravate his cousin, mostly because he had been promised a good bottle from her collection in exchange for his help and he needed it for a date soon. He finished first and moved on to the changing table. Once Christina was finally done with the wardrobe, she cleared the cardboard from the room and began to put the room together.

  
They finished around five and Christina escorted Atticus to the door, handing him an expensive bottle of wine on his way out. He took a few steps away from the door then turned around and called her before she could shut the door:

  
"Christina? You're gonna be a great dad."

  
Christina rolled her eyes, ignoring the anxious pang in her chest.

  
"I'm not going to be anyone's dad."

  
"Tell me that again in a year."

  
He left then, and Christina walked back inside. She still had a mobile to assemble and clothes to fold in the wardrobe. This was easy, she thought. All this pre-birth mess of furniture and clothes and plushes. She was that cool aunt who spent extravagant sums of money on her friend's – crush's? lover's? - child. She could and so she did. It didn't make her a parent.

  
Sammy drove Ruby home. Christina had arranged for movers to come and pick all of Ruby's things the next morning. Ruby looked very tired when she arrived.

  
"I dream of a warm bath," she said to Christina as the blonde closed the door behind her.

  
"I'll get right to it then."

  
Christina went upstairs to draw a bath for Ruby. She heard her from downstairs as Ruby looked at the baby-proofed living room.

  
"You should become a professional baby-proofer."

  
"I think it should go without saying that people who can't baby-proof their houses properly don't deserve to reproduce. It's just simple survival of the fittest."

  
Ruby laughed bitterly.

  
"Your dad really baby-proofed that mansion you grew up in?" Ruby asked as she climbed up the stairs.

  
"You're just proving my point."

  
Ruby stopped by the top of the stairs to inspect the gate.

  
"Isn't it a bit early?"

  
"Might as well do it now, or we'll forget to put it up completely, and I'm pretty sure those stairs have already had a taste of blood and they would like some more."

  
Christina emerged out of their bedroom once the bath was drawn. Ruby was walking toward the nursery, so she followed. She heard a loud gasp and hurried in. Ruby was standing by the doorway, looking over the room. Christina had decorated it all with all the things she'd wanted for her baby. There was a cute little teddy bear with a bow beside a pair of baby monitors on the wardrobe. A mobile of little butterflies hung over the wooden crib. An empty toy chest in the shape of a pirate chest rested against the wall, waiting to be filled.

  
"I can rearrange the furniture if you want," Christina assured. "And there's still plenty of space if you want to add anything else..."

  
Her voice died down when she felt Ruby's lips on hers. They hadn't kissed in over a month, and Christina didn't know she had been holding her breath since their last kiss. Whatever ribbon had been constricting her lungs finally fell away, and she kissed Ruby back. When they pulled apart, Christina was still somewhat dazed. Ruby looked guilty.

  
"Sorry, I..."

  
Christina pulled her into another kiss, killing any excuse on her tongue. Ruby kissed her back hungrily. They stumbled out of the room and to their bedroom, fighting not to pull apart. Ruby's cardigan was abandoned in the corridor. Christina shut their bedroom door with her foot. She pushed Ruby away just long enough to pull her blouse off, before pulling her back into a searing kiss. They stumbled into bed. Ruby sat at the edge of the bed, and while Christina wanted to sit on her lap, she couldn't really at the moment. Instead, she abandoned Ruby's lips and kneeled between her legs to get her pants off of her.

  
"What about the bath?" Ruby asked as Christina nibbled the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh.

  
"Water's not running. Let it cool, I'll run you another one later."

  
This seemed like an acceptable answer to Ruby, who took off her panties and threw them blindly toward the hamper, missing by a mile.

* * *

Christina kept her promise, drawing them another bath once they'd had enough of each other – momentarily, as it was becoming clearer by the second that neither of them would ever have enough of the other. Christina settled against the porcelain tub and let Ruby sit between her legs. Christina's hands caressed her sides and arms gently while Ruby kept a hand on her belly, feeling for her little girl's kicks.

  
"How does it feel when the miracle is kicking?" Christina asked, fingers spreading berry-scented foam over Ruby's arm.

  
"Stop calling her that," Ruby said lightly. "I mean, it hurts, obviously, but it's also very strange."

  
"I always imagined it felt like a chestburster trying to come out."

  
"Thankfully it does not."

  
Ruby reclined as much as she dared against her lover. She felt Christina placing kisses over her shoulder and sighed, content.

  
"What should I call her, if I can't call her 'the miracle' anymore?"

  
"I have been thinking of a few names," Ruby admitted.

  
"Let's hear it then."

  
"My first thought was Ella, but I already know an Ella, and I'd like to avoid naming her after someone I know. So then I thought Dorothy."

  
"Like The Wizard of Oz?" Christina asked.

  
"And now you know why I decided not to call her Dorothy. Billie is nice but it's also a nickname for William..."

  
"Him again," Christina faked a complaint, making Ruby sigh.

  
"So as much as I like Billie, it's off the table."

  
"What on the table then?"

  
"Right now? Nelly."

  
Christina nodded. She felt she had no right deciding Ruby's baby's name, but she liked Nelly well enough.

  
"It's a good idea."

  
"You can call her Nelly for now. If I change my mind and find a better name, I'll let you know."

  
Christina nodded. Her hand moved from Ruby's arm to her side and inched slowly over her belly until she felt a kick under her hand. Nelly was letting her know she existed, Christina thought. She pulled her hand away as slowly as she'd moved it in the first place, back to drawing mindless partners on Ruby's arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope all of today's fluff made up for their break-up.  
> I really wanted to call Ruby's daughter Billie but then I realized I couldn't, so I picked Nelly instead. I hope none of you have a particular hatred for the name because I'm not changing now.  
> Anyway, today I should finish writing the sequel, so I think I'll post it right after this story is over.  
> As usual, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you tomorrow for the next one!


	12. The Sister of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby could have gone a few more weeks without Leti knowing about the baby

Ruby could have gone another three weeks without Leti knowing. The baby was due on May 10th, she would have waited for the next phone call from her sister to tell her. Unfortunately, Marvin couldn't keep his mouth shut about it. Apparently, he was a lot more excited to be an uncle than Ruby had first thought.

  
"You're pregnant!" Leti shouted into the phone when Ruby picked up. "Why didn't you tell me! I'm your sister!"

  
"Yes, and you're also on the other side of the planet. What were you going to do about it?"

  
"Who's the father?"

  
"William."

  
"William? Double-timing cheating bastard William?"

  
"That one."

  
"Does he know?"

  
Ruby sighed as a bad kind of exasperation filled her brain.

  
"No, he doesn't and he'll never know."

  
"What are you going to do?"

  
"What do you mean, what am I going to do?"

  
"About the baby. Since you just moved in with your girlfriend and all."

  
Ruby sighed, feeling the migraine coming.

  
"I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to raise a child and hopefully do a better job of it than mom ever did."

  
There was a moment of pause, and Ruby was ready to praise whatever had disconnected their call, but Leti's voice returned with more bad news:

  
"I'm taking the first plane home. I want to be there when my niece is born."

  
"You really don't have to."

  
"I will be there. I will not let you down."

  
"Leti! Where are you even going to stay? You don't have an apartment here anymore."

  
"I don't know, doesn't your girlfriend have a guest bedroom or something?"

  
Ruby rubbed her temples. Oh, this was just perfect.

* * *

When Leti exited O'Hare that April afternoon, it was Atticus who was waiting for her, beside his old banged-up car. Leti dumped her suitcase and camera bag on the back seat and climbed in with her old friend. He was all smiles, happy to see her again.

  
"You look good," he said as he drove off. "Where have you been?"

  
"I just came from Tokyo," Leti replied. "And I know you're lying because I just spent fourteen hours in two different planes, so I can't look good."

  
They reached the highway and Atticus turned up the music on the radio.

  
"How did you get roped into picking me up?" Leti asked.

  
"Like I'd miss a chance to welcome you home?"

  
Leti gave him and look and Atticus chuckled:

  
"Fine. I'm doing Christina a favor. She'll owe me. And when I'm gonna cash in that favor, it'll be something big. Maybe a new car."

  
Leti rolled her eyes.

  
"So who is she? Christina. How come I go from never hearing about her to she's suddenly Ruby's girl and your cousin five times removed or something."

  
Atticus gave a vague shrug, his fingers drumming the rhythm of the music on the steering wheel.

  
"She used to live around Boston with her father. Now that he's dead, she moved here to be closer to the rest of her family."

  
"You?"

  
"Yeah, and her mother too. And she's not Ruby's girl, not yet anyway. They're still pretending they don't act like a married couple. You'll see what I mean."

  
"So Ruby moved in with her, but they're not dating, is what you're telling me?"

  
Atticus nodded, and Leti let out a groan of disbelief.

  
"I warned her. She's playing a pretty fucking dangerous game. And with a baby coming too."

  
Atticus shook his head.

  
"Nah, it's not a dangerous game. They're super fucking in love with each other. Chris is kind of nervous about the baby, but she'll make a good parent, I'm sure she'll realize it soon enough."

  
"Or, she's going to grow tired of having a newborn around, and she's going to kick them both out of her rich-ass mansion."

* * *

Rich-ass mansion was the right word for it, Leti thought. A fancy house in a fancy neighborhood with a fancy front gate and an even fancier garden. Atticus carried her suitcase up to the door. Leti entered without knocking, calling out loudly:

  
"Ruby?"

  
"In here!"

  
Ruby was in the living room, reading one of Christina's baby manuals. She stood up as best as she could to welcome her sister. When she finally saw her, Leti gasped.

  
"Oh my God, look at you!"

  
She tried to pull Ruby into a hug but struggled to get her arms around her entirely. She let go of her then and placed a tentative hand over her belly.

  
"I can't believe it!"

  
"Me either," Ruby said. "I always thought you'd be the one to have an accidental kid first."

  
Leti rolled her eyes, both amused and irritated.

  
"This place is huge," Leti then said, looking at the room around her.

  
"It's comfortable."

  
"Yeah, I bet it is."

  
Atticus shut the door behind him, leaving Leti's suitcase by the entrance. Christina emerged out of the kitchen, where she'd been putting away the grocery, and went to salute her cousin.

  
"If traveling agent doesn't work out for you in the long run, you can always become a chauffeur," Christina joked.

  
"Yeah, no, thank you."

  
He turned to the sisters in the living room and waved at them.

  
"I got to run! I'll see you later, Leti! Bye Ruby!"

  
Then, he lowered his voice and whispered to Christina:

  
"Good luck."

  
He left without another word. Christina straightened her back and walked up to Leti. She was towering over the shorter woman, but Leti wasn't phased by it at all.

  
"I'm Christina. It's nice to finally meet you."

  
"This place is a real dust-ball," Leti replied, taking another look around. "Momma always said dust is not good for pregnant women."

  
"If you don't like how our house cleaner does her work, you're welcome to give it a try."

  
Leti glared up at the blonde. Behind her, Ruby looked a second away from killing her younger sister. Fortunately, Leti moved past the blonde to get her suitcase.

  
"I suppose there are still things money can't buy. Where's my room?"

  
"I'll show you," Christina said after exchanging a look with Ruby.

  
She led Leti upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms, the most remote from their bedroom.

  
"I know it's not as exotic as Thailand, but I hope you'll find it to your convenience."

  
Before Leti could say anything, Christina left and returned downstairs. Ruby had sunk back into the couch and was massaging her head again. She cursed her luck that she couldn't take a painkiller for the massive headache she knew was coming. When Christina returned, she sighed and held out a hand. Christina took it and let herself be pulled on the couch beside her lover.

  
"Now I remember why I didn't mind paying to keep her on another continent."

  
Christina pressed a kiss on her head.

  
"Just say the word and I'll have a ticket to wherever you want to send her at the ready. I'm partial to Siberia myself."

  
Ruby chuckled.

  
"If she doesn't behave herself tonight she can crash on Tic's couch for the rest of her time here for all I care. Speaking of, I should get started."

  
When Leti came down after a shower and a change of clothes, one hand holding her smaller camera and the other a wrapped gift, she found Christina setting the table for seven, and Ruby making Jambalaya in the kitchen. Leti snapped a picture of her sister before stepping into the kitchen properly.

  
"She lets you cook?" she said, outraged.

  
Ruby rolled her eyes.

  
"I'm pregnant, not dying. And besides, I let her cook once and she can barely make pasta properly. This is her mother's recipe, it would be a crime if I let her burn it."

  
"Her mother's?"

  
Leti could smell a hundred different spices in the kitchen and it made her mouth water. Christina brushed past her, bordering on a shove, to get the glasses.

  
"My family is full of surprises," Christina said.

  
Leti rolled her eyes, thinking 'as if'. Then, she cleared her throat and said:

  
"Here, I bought you this before coming back."

  
Ruby let go of the wooden spoon and took the small, precious looking gift from her sister's hands. Inside, she found a small glass bubble with a long paper tag hanging from it. A wind chime, she guessed.

  
"Chris, look."

  
She showed off the beautiful ornament to the blonde, who gave a nod of appreciation.

  
"Can you find someplace to hang it?"

  
"Of course."

  
Christina took the gift carefully and left the kitchen to hang the ornament somewhere, she wasn't sure where yet but she would figure it out.

  
"Do you need help with anything?"

  
"No, everything's almost ready."

  
Leti leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.

  
"Who's coming tonight?"

  
"Christina's family. Her mother, step-father, and half-brother. They're really nice so please, don't make a scene."

  
Leti raised her hands.

  
"I don't plan to."

  
"That's what you say now. Also, Tic snagged an invite, and he already called dibs on any potential leftover."

  
"I pity the poor woman who would try to take care of him."

* * *

The door rang at sunset. Leti was talking with her sister in the living room. Christina seemed to appear out of nowhere and opened the door before Ruby could even try to get up. Leti watched as a black teenager walked in, followed by a black woman whom Christina pulled into a hug. A black man stepped in after them, closing the door behind him. Leti leaned toward Ruby and whispered:

  
"That's Christina's family?"

  
Ruby chuckled.

  
"She warned you her family was full of surprises."

  
While Caleb continued to act all flustered around Ruby and hid in a corner of the living room, Clarissa came to hug her.

  
"How are you holding up? Just a few more weeks."

  
"I don't want to say that I'm excited it's almost over, but I kind of am."

  
"I was the same, don't worry."

  
Clarissa turned to Leti and Ruby introduced her quickly.

  
"This is my sister, Letitia."

  
"Hi, I'm Clarissa, Christina's mother."

  
Still, Leti was quite stunned by the news. She listened silently as Clarissa introduced the rest of her family.

  
"This is my husband, Devon, and our son Caleb."

  
Christina returned with a bottle of alcohol in each hand as everyone settled around the living room.

  
"Atticus just left work he said not to wait for him to start drinking."

  
"Did he, now?" Leti asked.

  
"Unless you'd rather wait another thirty minutes until his bucket gets him here?"

  
Christina looked up at her brother, seating in a corner with his Game Boy.

  
"Kid, we got some Doctor Pepper."

  
"One please," Caleb replied without looking from his screen.

  
Christina left to get a can from the fridge. Leti looked back at the blonde for a moment, seriously wondering if she had missed something. But no, Christina still looked absolutely white to her.

  
"I'm sorry," Leti started, looking at Clarissa. "You're Christina's mother? Like, birth mother? Like you gave birth to her?"

  
Ruby wanted to glare at her sister, but Clarissa took the young woman's confusion with humor.

  
"Guilty as charged."

  
"How?"

  
Before her mother could answer, Christina returned, one beer hand in one hand and a soda can in the other.

  
"Genetics," she said, handing Devon his beer. "It's what happens when you make a kid with an extra-white guy, they tend to come out bleached out."

  
She handed a can of soda to a snickering Caleb. She winked at him then sat in the armchair and reached for the wine bottle to open it for her mother.

  
"So albinism?" Leti asked.

  
Christina paused, then shrugged.

  
"Could be. Not that I know of anyway. Just, the Russian Roulette of genetics."

  
Leti glanced at Ruby with a slight worry in her eyes.

  
"Wasn't William extra-white?" she asked.

  
Ruby sighed and rolled her eyes, thinking it was going to be a long, long night.

  
"I'm not going to answer that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Leti is the final boss of the story! Who would have thunked?  
> Just two chapters and the epilogue left, I hope you're excited! I'll see you guys tomorrow for the penultimate chapter!


	13. In a Hurry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more weeks to go

Christina had grown used to being awakened a couple of times per night. When it wasn't Ruby struggling to sleep or going to the bathroom, it was Nelly being awake when she shouldn't be. Perhaps it was because Christina always kept a hand on Ruby's belly when she slept, but she's stopped counting the number of times she was awakened by a little kick under or near her hand – she hadn't stopped counting, but she was keeping the number to herself, a secret between her and the soon to be newborn.

  
When she felt the kick this time, she mumbled awake, whatever dream she'd been having dissolving like cotton candy under the rain. Christina sat up and rubbed her eyes. It was barely two thirty according to her alarm clock. Ruby had been spooning against her. She was still curled on her side, breathing gently, eyes shut with no sign of uneasiness. She must still be asleep, Christina thought. She tried to lay back down, but as she placed her hand back on Ruby she felt another kick. She sighed gently. She wasn't certain how hearing worked for unborn children. People seemed convinced that talking to Ruby's belly would make the baby hear them. She wanted tangible proof that it actually worked. Still, she shifted until her head rested against Ruby's side.

  
"Go back to sleep, Nelly. It's too early to be awake. Your mother is resting, you don't want to wake her up."

  
She placed her hand on Ruby's belly and felt another kick.

  
"You're going to be a troublesome one, I sense," Christina continued to whisper. "Well, take it from one troublesome girl to another, if there's one person you don't want to mess with, it's your mother. You better let her sleep. It's all fun and games waking me up, but when you're going to wake Ruby up, you will regret it."

  
Another kick, like an affirmation and defiance all at once.

  
"Yeah, you better not drive your mom nuts, you hear me? I'm not going to stay a cool aunt very long if you make trouble for her."

  
Christina waited, but when no more kicks came, she assumed Nelly had gone back to sleep. She placed her head back on her pillow, returning to her previous position. Then, one of Ruby's hand reached for the one over her belly, entwining their fingers.

  
"Next time try to sing her a lullaby instead of threatening her," Ruby mumbled with amusement.

  
Christina felt her face heat up. She bit her upper lip nervously.

  
"I thought you were asleep."

  
"I wasn't, she woke me up before you."

  
"Not even born and already a menace."

  
Ruby pulled Christina's hand up to her lips and kissed the back of her hand.

  
"Two more weeks."

  
"Two more weeks," Christina confirmed.

  
Ruby let out a long sighed and closed her eyes again, ready to let sleep wash over her. A moment later, she felt Christina's breathing against the nape of her neck evening out, and she knew the blonde had dozed off. Ruby kept her hands in hers. She closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep. However, she felt a ball of pain on her lower back, one she couldn't quite explain because of her position. She tried to shift slightly to find a better position, hoping the pain would go away on its own. It didn't seem to want to, and Ruby wondered whether it was Nelly pressing where she shouldn't be pressing which caused her the pain. Most likely. Hopefully, it would subside soon, or she would call her doctor to ask her about it. Eventually, Ruby was so tired that she fell back to sleep as well, just as the first rays of the sun broke through the horizon.

* * *

The pain wasn't gone, and so Ruby decided to stay in bed, a pile of pillows supporting her painful back. Christina brought her breakfast in bed, and Ruby was flipping through a magazine when Leti came to see her.

  
"Christina said your back was hurting."

  
"Yeah, I think Nelly's in a bad position."

  
Leti came to sit on the edge of the bed beside her sister.

  
"Do you want me to stay and keep you company?"

  
"No, it's fine. Do what you were gonna do, Christina is going to stay and keep me company."

  
Leti pursed her lips, visibly torn.

  
"If you're still not feeling good tomorrow, I'm staying, alright? I'll bring you back some comfort food, okay?"

  
"Thanks."

  
Leti stood up, snapped one last picture of Ruby, making her sister groan with annoyance, and left the room. She passed Christina who was putting Ruby's breakfast things in the washing machine.

  
"I'm off. You better take good care of my sister, you hear me? If I come home and I hear she's still in pain, a sore back is going to be the least of your worries."

  
Christina rolled her eyes. As if she were the one who had caused Ruby's sore back. She hadn't had the opportunity in almost a month. Leti left, camera around her neck, and Christina sighed. Hopefully, Leti didn't intend to stay for long after Nelly's birth. Maybe she should buy her a ticket somewhere fun and exotic, to motivate her to go.

  
Once she was done in the kitchen, Christina walked up the stairs to check on Ruby and see if she needed anything. She had a hand on the handle when she heard something coming from the other side. She paused. Ruby was singing softly. Christina closed her eyes and listened. Ruby was singing Easy Living. Christina stood behind the door and listened until Ruby was done singing. Then, she finally opened the door, as quietly as she could. Still, Ruby was staring at her from the bed.

  
"Do you have a song request?" Ruby asked with a smile. "I'm trying to calm Nelly but nothing seems to be working. Maybe you could threaten her again, see how this works?"

  
Christina didn't reply, instead, she closed the distance between them with four grand strides.

  
"God, I love you."

  
Ruby was stunned for a second. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she brushed them off as soon as she noticed.

  
"I love you too."

  
Christina sat at the edge of the bed and leaned in to capture Ruby's lips in a kiss. Ruby returned the kiss, one hand in Christina's hair musing them up. When they parted, Ruby brushed more tears out of her eyes and reached for a tissue in the box on the bedside table.

  
"You sure know how to make a girl cry."

  
"Hormones. I won't hold it again you."

  
Ruby blew her nose and sighed.

  
"I'm a mess. How did you get dragged into my mess?"

  
"I'm still asking myself this question every morning," Christina confirmed with a smile.

  
She brushed more tears from Ruby's cheeks and added:

  
"Truth be told, I'm fine with it remaining a mystery."

* * *

By midday, Ruby's back pain hadn't subsided at all. It was getting worse and worse, pulsing with every heartbeat she could hear in her ears. By eleven a. m., cramps every odd minute added to the pain. Nothing in her books and manuals had prepared Christina for what to do in case of intensifying back pain and cramps. Instead of attempting to make lunch, she called Ruby's doctor. She stood by the bed as she handed the phone to Ruby and let her explain the situation.

  
"Since last night... around three, I think. Hum... No, it's like pressure, like maybe the baby is pressing somewhere she shouldn't? Yes, like that..."

  
Ruby's voice died down as she listened to the doctor. Beside her, Christina was biting her nails. She couldn't believe she was biting her nails, yet here she was. Ruby's expression turned to concern and a fearful coldness sank in Christina's stomach. Something was wrong, something was very wrong.

  
"Alright, I see... I'll do my best... Thank you, see you there."

  
Ruby hung up and turned to Christina.

  
"Don't panic, but it's very likely that I'm in labor right now."

  
Christina panicked very much.

  
"What! How is that even possible? Two weeks early? How!"

  
"I don't know," Ruby shouted, hoping it would snap Christina out of her panic. "The doctor said to go to the hospital and she will meet us there, and we'll see what to do about it."

  
"Okay, okay... I can drive."

  
"Now is not the time for you to forget how to drive, do you hear me?"

  
Christina took a deep breath and tried to calm her frantic heart. She could do this. She could escort the love of her life to the hospital so she could deliver her baby safely. Even if it was two weeks early and they were not ready.

  
"Alright, let's go."

  
Christina's driving skills didn't fail her, and they reached the hospital in record time. They were admitted, and just as she had promised, the doctor met them there. Soon enough, Ruby was changed into a hospital gown, lying in bed, and the probe was back on her belly. Beside her, Christina's hand was sweating, a very first in her life. She stared and stared at the screen, trying to decipher it.

  
"The baby is in position. You haven't felt any contractions yet, have you?"

  
Ruby shook her head.

  
"I don't know... Maybe the cramps? They keep coming and going."

  
"She seems in a hurry to come out," the doctor said jokingly. "But I think she's ready. Two weeks before the term isn't too dangerous. Now it's just a matter of waiting until your body is ready to let her out."

  
"So she's coming out today?" Christina asked in disbelief.

  
"Most likely, yes."

  
She paled, if that was even possible, and looked at Ruby.

  
"Please tell me you knew this baby was going to have to come out eventually?" Ruby asked.

  
Christina blinked.

  
"I mean, yeah, just... Today?"

  
The doctor cleaned the probe and placed a bunch of paper napkin to clean Ruby's belly. Christina jumped into action, cleaning off the cold gel as best as she could.

  
"I'll come back to check on you in an hour, just to see if we're making progress. If anything happens, call a nurse."

  
Once they were left alone in the room, Christina sighed.

  
"So it's happening."

  
"Don't sound so dramatic. There are plenty of women giving birth every minute of the day. So what if it's today? Do you have a problem with April 28th?"

  
"No, it's just, I just realized that I'm not exactly emotionally ready."

  
"You're not emotionally ready? How do you think I feel?"

  
Ruby shook her head in disbelief.

  
"Wait until Leti hears about this!"

  
Then, the realization hit her.

  
"Leti's still out! You locked the door before leaving?"

  
"As usual."

  
"She's gonna be stuck outside when she comes back."

  
Christina sighed and stood up.

  
"Fine. Let me find a goddamn phone. I'll call Tic. I'm buying him a car for his birthday, he can take care of Leti for a few hours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Ready for the final chapter?  
> Just a heads up, I will not be showing the birth in the next chapter, simply because I didn't feel comfortable writing it. I know that it's annoying but I still put the lack of a birth scene into good use, you'll see what I mean tomorrow.  
> The story passed 2000 views yesterday which is all I wanted before we get to the end! So thank you, everyone! I'll see you all tomorrow for the last chapter and the epilogue!


	14. Parenting 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baby's here

When Leti returned to the Hyde Park house, right before sunset, she was surprised to see Tic camping in front of the door, in his work suit, completing a Rubik's Cube for the fifth time. She walked up to him and frowned.

  
"Tic? What are you doing here?"

  
He stood up with relief.

  
"Finally! I was starting to worry."

  
"Worry? What... Why are you waiting on the doorstep?"

  
"Christina and Ruby are not here, they had to leave for the hospital a few hours ago."

  
Leti's heart stopped in her chest.

  
"What?!"

  
"Yeah, turns out Ruby's having the baby today. Chris asked if I could let you crash on my couch for the evening."

  
Leti was shocked by the lack of concern Atticus displayed.

  
"My sister is in the hospital and you're asking me if I don't mind crashing on your couch! Are you insane! Take me there now!"

  
"I don't think that's..."

  
But Leti was already stomping toward the car, and he knew there was no changing her mind. He sighed and followed her to his car. He settled behind the wheel. Leti was almost vibrating beside him.

  
"When did they call you? How long have they been at the hospital?"

  
Atticus shrugged.

  
"A couple of hours, I think. Christina called during my lunch break, but since she said you probably wouldn't be home until in the afternoon..."

  
"Why didn't anyone try to find me?"

  
"How? They didn't even know where you went."

  
Leti pursed her lips, keeping a jumble of anxious words on her tongue. Atticus seemed to take his sweet time driving her to the hospital, though it was probably just her brain messing with her. When they arrived she barely gave him the time to stop before she hopped out of the car and rushed inside. The maternity ward was on the second floor. She took the elevator and tried to follow the arrows, hopefully toward her destination. The hospital smelled like every other hospital, and Leti hated the smell of the hospital. It reminded her of her mother's last few days.

  
Eventually, she found the reception desk, where a nurse was beginning her shift with a cup of coffee.

  
"Excuse me, I'm looking for my sister. She was brought here this afternoon."

  
"I'm sorry, miss," the nurse said. "But visitation hour is over."

  
"I get that, but my sister came here to deliver a baby, and I have no idea where she is, or how she is, if the baby's out already or not! I just want an answer, please, I just want to make sure she's fine."

  
"Leti?"

  
Leti never thought she would feel relieved upon hearing Christina's voice. She turned, and found the blonde with a red nose and teary eyes, struggling to keep the plastic coffee cup in her hands steady. She sniffed and Leti's heart broke.

  
"How... how is she?"

  
"She's fine, just resting. Nelly's fine too. 19.8 inches. A perfect 7 pound. And don't worry, she's not white."

  
Christina took a sip of coffee as if it could steady her voice. Leti let out a long sigh of relief, her whole body sinking against the reception desk.

  
"You scared the hell out of me... You look like absolute shit."

  
"I just saw a baby being born, you'd look bad too if you'd seen it."

  
Leti rolled her eyes.

  
"No need to pour salt on the wound, okay? I wanted to be there."

  
She turned to the nurse.

  
"Can I go see my sister, please?"

  
The nurse sighed.

  
"Fine."

  
Leti followed Christina to Ruby's bedroom, vibrating with excitement. Christina walked into the room quietly. Ruby was still sleeping. Christina sat in the only chair available, near the bed, and Leti had to stay up. Ruby looked tired, and Leti didn't want to wake her up. She whispered:

  
"Is she mad that I wasn't there?"

  
"I don't think she cared," Christina replied between two sips of coffee. "Once she knew Atticus was going to take care of you, she didn't bring you up at all."

  
It hurt Leti to hear it, but she knew it could only hurt because it was the truth.

  
"I should have stayed with her."

  
She sighed, trying to push the pain out of her chest.

  
"How was it?"

  
"Painful," Christina said, her eyes never leaving Ruby's face, even as she rubbed her still sore hand against the leg of her pants.

  
Christina hoped she would never see another human being in so much pain, especially Ruby. She had been speechless the entire time, holding her hand because she wasn't certain what else she could do. And then Nelly had come out and cried, and Christina had cried too because that was the origin of life.

  
"I should probably let her rest," Leti decided.

  
Christina said nothing, simply handing her house keys to the shorter woman.

  
"Will you tell her I dropped by?"

  
"Sure. Help yourself to everything in the fridge except for the bottle of champagne. I'm keeping it for something special."

  
"More special than your girlfriend giving birth?"

  
Christina glared at Leti.

  
"Fine. Not the champagne."

  
Tentatively, Leti walked out of the room. She glanced at her sister before finally going. As she walked through the maternity ward, she finally found the nursery. She stopped by the window and searched each bed until she found the right now. A little pink hat covered delicate black locks. Nelly was sleeping, her tiny fists closed on either side of her head. Leti remembered seeing baby pictures of Ruby, and it looked as though Nelly had been pulled right out of those pictures.

  
Satisfied, Leti walked out, clutching the keys and thinking about emptying Christina's alcohol cabinet to celebrate.

* * *

Nelly came home four days after being born, to a fanfare of people excited to meet her. She could barely keep her big brown eyes open as the welcoming party went on. Clarissa was very reluctant to let her go once the baby had been handed to her. Caleb, who had half a dozen cousins younger than him, wasn't the least bit interest in anything but the cake. Leti filled two rolls of film with the party alone. Two days later, she'd already gotten a few in frames to put around the house. Christina said nothing and let her.

  
It was the cries that chased Leti away, or so Christina liked to joke. That after a week of Nelly waking up every few hours throughout the night, she grew tired of it and decided to search for her own apartment. And somehow, she found it pretty quickly. She was out of Hyde Park quicker than Christina had been in. Christina didn't mind. She was accustomed to sleepless nights. She watched as night after night Ruby took care of her little girl, sang her back to sleep, and held her close until she stopped crying. Christina fell deeper and deeper in love, digging herself into a hole from which she knew she would never climb out.

  
Still, she remained rather sheepish about interacting with the baby. Clarissa gave her an express lesson on how to pick up and carry a newborn, and that was basically the extent of the practical training Christina had received. She stared at her a lot, though, and sometimes, Nelly stared back. She had very big, inquisitive eyes, mischievous. One second, Christina wondered if she wasn't hiding the secrets of the universe. The next, Nelly was making bubbles, and maybe the secrets of the universe could wait.

  
One afternoon, Ruby left for a short hour, having fed and changed Nelly before going.

  
"She's sleeping, she'll probably still be sleeping until I get back."

  
Christina, hunched over a scientific book, nodded. Ruby left the baby monitor on her desk, within arms' reach, and managed to pull the blonde away from her reading long enough for a kiss.

  
"You can handle a sleeping baby for an hour, right?"

  
"Better than I can handle Leti for half an hour," Christina jokingly replied.

  
Ruby chuckled and left for the hairdresser, borrowing Christina's silver car. If she didn't fear leaving Nelly alone – or with Christina, which was close to alone – for more than an hour, she would have made an appointment. The Lord knew she needed it. But she was only going there to help Ella with her book-keeping since she had been unable to come the previous month. Almost as soon as Ruby was gone, Christina went back to reading, scribbling notes with her other hand on a notepad.

  
The first whimpers came not too long after Ruby left. Christina heard them clearly on the monitor. She couldn't quite ignore them either, so she left her book open on her desk and walked upstairs, monitor in hand. Nelly was fretting about in her crib, whimpering. Christina leaned down over her, a fairy godmother trying to ease her ward's suffering.

  
"What's wrong? Is it because your mother's gone? She'll be back. She wouldn't abandon you, trust me, and especially not with me."

  
Still, Nelly continued to fuss. Christina wasn't exactly certain what to do in that situation, and she felt stupid even thinking about calling her mother for help. She placed the monitor on the wardrobe and carefully picked up the baby. She was weightless, like a feather, and Christina tried to remember what Clarissa had told her. Keep her close, support her head. Eventually, Christina had done it. She was holding Nelly, and the baby had stopped fussing, staring up at Christina.

  
"What's wrong, then? You can't be hungry you just ate. You smell like a fresh baby. What is your problem?"

  
Nelly did not answer, and yet Christina understood perfectly. She didn't want to be alone. From a single look, Christina understood it all.

  
"Alright then. I can't keep you in my office."

  
Christina decided to forgo work until Ruby returned. Instead, she went to her bedroom. Carefully, she sat down on the bed, then laid down, and brought Nelly on her belly against her chest.

  
"How about now? Does it seem like a better place to nap?"

  
Nelly continued to stare at her, observe her without intention, just looking in its purest act.

  
"I admit it's probably not as comfortable as your mother. But I suppose it'll have to do for now."

  
Nelly's head rested against Christina's collarbones, her soft hair ticking the blonde's chin. Christina tried to remember to breathe, and take slow, measured breaths, so as not to jolt the baby too much. Soon enough, however, Nelly had fallen asleep. Christina couldn't quite believe it. She'd done it. She'd successfully averted a crisis and calmed Nelly before it could escalate. She felt very proud of herself.

  
Even after Nelly had fallen asleep and began drooling on her, she made no attempts to move and bring the baby back into her crib. There was something positively peaceful about keeping the feather-light baby on her chest. People spoke often of how purring cats helped ease anxiety, but she thought she'd found even better.

  
She heard the front door unlock and the telltale sound of Ruby's shoes on the hardwood floor.

  
"Christina?" she called out at a moderate volume because they'd both grown too scared to wake a sleeping baby to shout.

  
"Upstairs," Christina tried as quietly as she could.

  
She doubted Ruby had heard her, as she picked up more footsteps, Ruby searching for her downstairs. Finally, she made her way upstairs and paused by the bedroom doorway. Christina couldn't see it, but Ruby was smiling brightly. She took off her shoes and jacket and came to sit beside the blonde on the bed. She passed a delicate hand over Nelly's back which didn't seem to bother her.

  
"Do you want to take her?" Christina asked.

  
"Why? Are you eager to be rid of her?"

  
"No. It's... nice. I didn't know what else to do. She just didn't want to be alone."

  
Ruby laid beside her, close enough to place a hand on her daughter, her eyes finding Christina's.

  
"You keep saying you'd be a bad mother, but you just proved you have very good maternal instincts. You knew exactly what she needed."

  
"That was a lucky guess."

  
"One lucky guess after another just might make you a good mother..."

  
Christina said nothing at first, losing herself in Ruby's eyes. Finally, she said:

  
"I'm still on the fence. It sounds insane, I mean, I'm literally holding a baby right now. I shouldn't be so uncertain."

  
"What are you uncertain about?"

  
"Whether I can handle it. And before you tell me I've handled it so far, I've done nothing. Today was the first day I took her out of her crib. You've done everything on your own. I don't want to tell you I can handle it, but in a month or two go back on my word. It wouldn't be fair to you or her."

  
Ruby nodded.

  
"I understand that."

  
Ruby took Christina's hand in hers, threading their fingers.

  
"And maybe it'll come naturally, eventually. But I think until you don't truly give it a chance, you'll never really know if you want it or not. And maybe some therapy? I think it would do you some good, miss mad scientist. About that and all your family issues that you're afraid to drag around."

  
Christina nodded, squeezing Ruby's hand.

  
"Yeah, in hindsight I should have probably given therapy a try two decades ago."

  
Ruby pushed herself up to kiss Christina. Then, she delicately kissed Nelly's hair. She laid back down, a bit closer.

  
"I love you."

  
"I love you too."


	15. Epilogue: Where Did My Baby Go?

Ruby's thirty-fifth birthday had gone just as Christina had planned. Although Leti hadn't been able to come as she was still in Peru, and Marvin had been smothered in work, Ruby had grown to expect it by now. At least the rest of her family could make it.

  
Christina was in the kitchen, filling up the dishwasher after dinner. She could hear conversations coming from the living room, where her mother was telling Ruby all about Caleb's college applications. Christina could faintly hear the conversation, and she tried to follow as best as she could. Suddenly, she felt a tug on her shirt. She looked beside her where Nelly was standing, and a smile blossomed on her face. At five, Nelly was the spitting image of her mother, which according to Leti, she had been from the moment she'd been born. She was wearing pajamas with little cat paws all over them.

  
"What's going on, baby?" Christina asked.

  
Nelly's dark brown eyes were fluttering shut, as it was long past her bedtime. Still, instead of asking to go to bed, she said:

  
"I want to play hide and seek."

  
"Isn't it a bit late for that?"

  
"Please!"

  
There wasn't much she could refuse the little girl.

  
"Just one game, alright? I'll come to find you when all the plates are in the dishwasher."

  
Nelly didn't even wait for the signal and ran out of the kitchen, her little feet pitter-pattering on the hardwood floor. Christina smiled fondly and took her time finishing to fill the machine and start it. Nelly was very fond of hide and seek these days. She had five favored spots in the whole house which Christina knew by heart. It wasn't hide and seek at this point, it was a game of pretending and she was all too happy to participate.

  
Once she was done in the kitchen, she walked toward the living room. As she passed her closed office door, she heard snickering on the other side. She smiled to herself and continued to the living room.

  
"Has anyone seen my baby girl?" she asked as she arrived. "She's too well hidden for me, I can't find her."

  
Caleb rolled his eyes.

  
"I don't know where she is, but she should probably be in bed right now," Ruby replied.

  
Christina winked at her.

  
"I'm sure I'll find her. She can't have disappeared. I would be very sad if she had."

  
The adults watched with amusement as Christina opened her office door, and very quickly found Nelly hiding on the other side.

  
"I found her," she said, faking excessive relief. "It's alright everyone. Call off the search. She's here."

  
Nelly laughed and let Christina pick her up. She wasn't as feather-light as she once was and soon Christina wouldn't be able to pick her up, but she would continue for as long as she could. She brought her to the living room.

  
"You always find me so fast, mommy."

  
"Maybe one day I'll tell you how," Christina replied.

  
She let the little girl down.

  
"Alright, bedtime now. Say good night to everyone."

  
Nelly pouted and so Ruby had to insist:

  
"It is way past your bedtime, young lady. If you don't go to bed now, you'll have to take a nap tomorrow."

  
Nothing was scarier than a nap. Nelly quickly went from person to person, giving them a hug and a kiss.

  
"Goodnight grandpa. Goodnight grandma. Goodnight Caleb."

  
Devon hugged her back. Clarissa kissed her forehead. Caleb gave her a halfhearted hug. Then, Nelly jumped into her mother's arms.

  
"Goodnight mama."

  
"Goodnight baby," Ruby said after hugging her daughter back.

  
Nelly then returned to Christina, taking her hand in hers.

  
"Alright, off to bed with you."

  
The nursery was a full-fledged child's bedroom now, crowded with more toys than a single kid could ever play with. Nelly settled in bed with her favorite plush, a tiger, and Christina tugged her in.

  
"We'll be downstairs if you need anything, alright?"

  
"Wait, mommy, how about my story?" Nelly said before Christina could stand from the edge of her bed.

  
"It's a bit too late for that now. We'll finish the book tomorrow, alright?"

  
"But I can't sleep if I don't have a story!"

  
Christina looked at the little girl, at her tired, fluttering eyes, and she knew she wouldn't last long. She wasn't much for inventing stories, but she could try something, she thought. The sappiest story she knew, adapted to a five-year-old.

  
"Alright. Well, this story starts with a letter..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you for reading till the end, I really hope you enjoyed it!  
> Also, today is my birthday! It is a complete coincidence, I only realized I was gonna post the finale on my birthday a few days ago. I was thinking about writing something self-indulgent thing to post on my birthday, but I didn't even have to because I had this self-indulgent ending to post!  
> Tomorrow you can expect the sequel. It's set in 1996 when Nelly is 14 months old. It's called "Family Gathering". I'll create a series for these two stories. And after that, well, for the first time since November, I'm out of things to post. I'm starting classes again today (hence this early update) and I'm also taking time to try and finally complete a novel (haven't done that in a while). That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop posting about these two, just that it's probably going to be small one-shots every once in a while. I hope you can survive without daily updates.  
> Anyway, thank you again for following this story till the end! I hope you have a nice week!


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